Gift of the Year 2017: Therapy

Lord, you know you are my greatest gift ever, and you gave yourself through your Son Jesus Christ, the love of my life! Yet in praying about this past year, you began overwhelming me with the generous blessings you gifted me with throughout the year. While I am letting you help me get that post together by still taking time to look over everything, you absolutely pointed out my gift of the year… therapy.

When I began therapy 19 months or so ago, I could hardly walk, move my neck,  struggled to lift my legs to get in and out of the car, the tub, or to change clothes. It was so painful to sit, stand, walk, or even lay down, or allow my back to touch anything. I was clinically sleep deprived. I went from hardly ever taking meds to strong meds that were not doing a thing. When I began therapy several hours a week, every week, for the last year and a half, Blake did the hand work to my back and neck that finally allowed blood flow, which allowed my medicines to work, and any shot to have better circulation.

When Dr. Buzz began to do blocks, after the first one I went straight home and fell asleep for the first time in months… yes months… years since I could sleep more than 3 hours… and without pain! I was able to improve on personal hygiene, lay on my back, finally elevate my feet, start attending church more often, and tolerate standing better for singing at least a little bit.

In the last year, I have had more types of therapists than I even knew existed. The number of doctors, therapists, specialists, and procedures were just too much, though I kept a daily record. Between medicines, surgeries or procedures, vigorous therapies, medical tests, medicine changes, all while struggling with memory, concentration, the ability to focus, got the best of me several times. I was told it was metabolic, but I needed (and will probably need for life) the medicines just to function.

If it were not for therapy and blocks, I would be in such a miserable state, IF I were here at all. While I wanted answers and relief, and did whatever was asked of me, I had given up in many ways. I had no energy at all because it was all going into doing simple things… sit, stand, walk, use the bathroom, shower, sleep, dress and undress. I thought I was surely losing the battle, especially since I had many other health issues, and all my doctors could see was weight…. thinking it was all about food and me.

I praise your name for the therapy that helped me not to give up, to better communicate with my doctors, and better understand why my doctors thought such incorrect and negative thoughts, learning to better understand what they were asking of me, and if all else fails not to give up trying so that I can know I did everything asked of me.

My dietician therapists were such a supportive team. How can I thank you, Lord, enough for sending my dietician coach? It makes all the difference in the world to have someone on your side, to believe you, and to help you figure out what’s going wrong, or at least how to better deal with it, without giving up.

Towards the end of the year, I was diagnosed with lymphedema and lipedema. Robbie’s vigorous work with my legs and compression made a vast difference in the health of my legs and feet before I was released to begin work with a whole new team of therapy specialists. The most comforting words I heard from complete medical strangers were, “This is fluid, not weight. This is not something you’ve done. This is something that has happened to you. There has been injury to your lymphatic system. The lipedema is fat, but not the kind of fat YOU have gained or could work off. Again it is not something you have done. It is something that has happened to you.” Even if I’ve learned I will be living with it, I finally have answers, and a TEAM of specialists gifted beyond measure.

Lastly, but certainly not least, that one who has helped to learn to communicate better between my doctors as they asked for has been gifted with patience that has saved me from giving up, saved me from going crazy, and has kept me from flying. Every day is a challenge not to lose those battles, but he completely gets it. I am not going crazy to him. I am simply physically frustrated, exhausted, discouraged, insulted, challenged, belittled, bullied, and anxious about what I cannot control or understand… which is a lot. He helps me to pause, to think it out, to regroup, to communicate, and choose to live.

The best gift of all along the way is the many believers you have brought along my path. Missionaries in the medical field. They are absolutely there! Comforting, healing, encouraging day in and day out. And even nonbelievers… you never go without using people whether they are willing or not, even when they have ill intentions, YOU are always on the throne, making beautiful things work for YOUR good through and to them, as well as to me! That’s so you!

Thank you, God, for all of the souls you have brought my way. I especially pray for my regular doctor (aka G.P. or family doc) as she has been sick enough to have to leave the practice for a few months. She was the one who began this journey with me, and signs whatever permissions she is asked to that allow things to continue. You have used her so much, and now I can do nothing to help her… but YOU CAN! I pray for her, and for each one you gifted me with this year. A greater part of the year, they were the only ones I saw outside of home. Thank you for Anthoni’s heart (and finances) to make sure his mom got to all of her appointments, as much as possible, making me promise not to give up. Thank you for being the Great Physician that you are! NOTHING would be possible without you!

Getting gaillovesgodspoetry Started

Hi, Guys! gaillovesgod here letting you know I’ve been working on getting my poetry on a separate blog  gaillovesgodspoetry, but as much as I have been struggling to have time and energy to learn how to do things… I am still learning.

I had difficulty with export downloading properly to load to gaillovesgodspoetry, so I gave up, choosing to copy and paste each poem. It means losing the loving and supportive comments, and the followers posting them, but I’m not tech savvy enough to figure it out, and it’s time consuming. My health doesn’t allow me that energy any more.

I do care about each of you who have been so supportive, so I’m leaving on gaillovesgod what poetry has been added thus far, but after also adding them on gaillovesgodspoetry I will post all new poetry there so that I can separate by years, then months, as I always have. There are literally thousands. The Lord led me years ago to do this to allow the testimony of what He has done in my life to show that growth in my writing… the spiritual gift He gave me. You are more than welcome to join me there as well.

The gaillovesgod blog will remain for… devotional journaling, challenges, reblogging as a prayer warrior at times, and simply spending time talking with the Lord, as well as sharing responses He gives at times. I ask your patience with me as I post several posts at a time on the poetry page to catch up. I’ve been checking and you shouldn’t get the notifications unless you have already clicked to follow gaillovesgodspoetry, and they will slow down when caught up.

Any feedback is helpful. Oh… and I haven’t decided 100% on a theme. I still have so much to learn, but with so much therapy (and far more to come) and the latest procedure I had this week, I am constantly falling asleep either as soon as I touch the keyboard, or worse… in the middle of talking with someone. So sorry.

I hope to get back to blogging soon. I even have an award to share… thanks to Lovely A!
Remember…. God loves you!!

 

Satisfied Hunger

The Lord delightfully surprised me in a way that might be trivial to share with you, but meant so much to me. For God to be so personal about it! I love how He keeps doing that, even with trivial things! He loves saying, “I’m thinking of you. Even the little things.”

I was taking my son to work by 4 am. After letting him off, I found myself hungry. I mean hungry people. Remember, I hate to chew, get bored with eating, and when I do eat I pick away at my food. But my medicines sometimes eat away at my insides. I was becoming sick, and getting sicker. But there was a new problem.

From midnight to 5 am, it’s hard to eat without being stuck with McDonald’s. They’re not the worst, but it’s only breakfast and SO greasy! Biscuits or griddles mean having to eat bread. I have a bread thing. Cook Out closed at 4 am. Denny’s closed down a few months back. IHOP and Huddle House are open all night on the weekend, but this was midweek. Only place left… Waffle House (aka Awful House). Ugh… the idea of grease… or breakfast!

My stomach kept getting sicker, so I decided Waffle House so I could eat something besides a burger. I did remembered a ham and cheese omelet years before. I was dreading the grease. I was hoping something was on the menu… spaghetti or something.

It was busy, loud, and cold! I had a light jacket on with short sleeves, and am normally hot. I was freezing, but hungry! The menu was all burgers, patty melts, and breakfast. I avoid ham because of my blood pressure. I was trying to avoid meat altogether. I literally pondered for about 30 minutes. They were so busy, only the cook noticed.

Kayla came to ask me what I wanted to drink. Yes, I did soda instead of water or hot chocolate. After talking about the foods, I went with the classic cheeseburger. It was a dollar burger size. No French fries at Waffle House! I was proud of them! But the only side was hash browns. I was so hungry I just yes! No to the sauce.

Wow! My burger was small and seemed grease free (I knew better). There were large pieces of juicy, crisp lettuce. Two pieces of thick fresh tomatoes… also juicy! The bread was small and light! Didn’t bother me a bit! The hash browns were good. I started with my burger but after one bite of those hash browns, I was eating away.

I realized I was eating and was tempted to think too much. I did not care! I was hungry! My burger and hash browns satisfied my hunger! I thought, “Everybody wants me to eat. I’m eating! And good!” I even ate pie! Oh. My. Word! I’ve not eaten pie in forever! Freddie the cook made it warm and delicious! The pecans were soft! I ate away from the crust, but I ate! I even drank half of my drink!

You think I feel guilty for those who believe I’m overweight because they think all I do is eat, and think I’ve been big all my life? Or because of the struggle TO eat because of hating to chew or thinking it’s boring to eat? No ma’am! No sir! God made my morning! He thought of me personally. My hunger was satisfied. My body felt great! Hydrated! Nourished! Thank you, God, for our time! We made 2 new friends… Kayla and Freddie.