My Google + Profile (Google + is closing)

 

The following is my Google Plus account tagline and profile introduction. They sent an email saying Google Plus is closing, so get any pics or anything I want off of it. I just copied and pasted this because this was a part of my journey in trying to get my testimony down for God, and trusting Him enough to have a public site regardless of family issues. This also shows how I tried to keep it “clean” and “appropriate” as advised by church family. While it is a nice summary, God would make it clear to me He wanted others who ARE LIVING in the ugly now or have come through it to know what He can do… and that He loves them. I still decide to follow His lead!

Tagline:
It’s not about me. It’s all about Jesus Christ! He died to save us from sin. Choose Christ, choose life!

Introduction:
By the grace of God, my name is Gail Brookshire. Jesus lovingly rescued me when I was 8 years old. Shortly after, He gave me the gift to write and I do my best to use it all to the glory of God! Through foster care, multiple schools, a very dysfunctional upbringing, my parents divorcing and remarrying, many deaths throughout my life of loved ones, having my son and so much more, God has always allowed me the privilege of being the first to read what He gives me to learn more about myself, how to cope, that He has allowed me to survive and grow, and MOST importantly learn more of Him every day to grow closer and closer! I praise God for His wonderful love! Jesus is all the world to me! He is my friend… MY BEST FRIEND EVER!

gaillovesgod (originally posted 5.14.16 as 1st post)

**This post was originally posted on 5.14.16 as my 1st post. I no longer have the FB Group page… Gail’s Poetry. And my personal FB remains private and barely open. The only reason I have not deleted it thus far is because several family and friends use to keep in touch, as well as church family. And I watch church services through FB live. The feed is much better. You will also notice no Like or Comment button or section. I can only tell you I was still new to learning WordPress at the time. **
God loves you!

And…. here we go again. Attempting to do another blog. An attempt at putting together my testimony to leave behind… and share while I am here. Praying that my testimony praises my God for what he has done for me throughout my life, and continues to do now. I have attempted to do a couple of them before but never can find the page again, or as with Myspace… lost access when the space was exiled. I do still have my poetry page on Google with a brief testimony for when addressing someone with what it meant for Jesus to come into my life. It was even originally made to be public for anyone and everyone, as opposed to my private FB account, but eventually I made a little security to keep the ranters and haters out, but then made it to where no one can even comment because of family. I do have a separate poetry page as well in a private group on my FB called Gail’s Poetry, but I have to invite anyone. It’s really to keep from filling up the news feeds too much.

This blog is an attempt to more honest and open, as that has become my biggest hindrance… in writing… speaking… thinking… communicating… socializing… living. For the earliest part of my life through my early twenties I was always a VERY quiet person, kept to myself, not  speaking, but using one word to answer (literally if I could get away with it, and usually did), and spoke only the needed answer. That all changed in the early 1990’s. What happened, you ask? Life! It’s not like I didn’t have enough to talk about already. It’s just all of the tragedy and danger of my childhood always called for silence to survive, along with making no sign of emotion. If people could figure out my thoughts and feelings, they used them against me… to protect themselves and to gain more access to more power. In 1990, I discovered talking as a way to get through dangerous situations, and learned that it could keep people away. The more I escaped having to worry all the time, the more I awakened.

That’s right. Gail awakened. Life before that was just life. I would say it was about trying to survive, but I didn’t even know I was trying to survive. I didn’t even know I was in danger. Not only did I not realize that things that weren’t right were not normal, I didn’t even know I was here… literally. Death had been just as much an occupant in my life as people that I knew as family. That will make for a blog or two some time. For now, this is to get this page started. The hardest part is being honest. I have never wanted to shame my dad, my mom, or any of my family and friends. Telling my testimony, sharing what God has brought me through, even as a summary does that. With both of my parents  now deceased, my grandparents, brother, so many family and friends, I still do not wish to shame them, but I know that they will not have to take it personally or ask me to change my mind when they themselves encouraged me to write, to tell it like it really is, and to not be ashamed. They were ALL supportive of my writing and were so proud of me. That was the word they used.

But it will still be a struggle as nowadays I have family that gets so mad at ANYthing I say… literally. If I write a personal FB post, they get so upset. Also, the last time I attempted to “tell my testimony” as the churches so passionately preach, I was told it was too inappropriate for church. That it needed to be cleaned up. I don’t use foul language or anything like that, but sex has been a part of my life since I was 3 years old.

me at 3yrs old

That’s the earliest I can remember anyway. Yes it’s disgusting to mention a 3 year being molested, but how do you think the 3yr old felt… and wouldn’t you like to know the beautiful purity God has restored for her? So please pray for me. I do not wish to offend God or fellow believers. If it is my responsibility to give God all of His glory for my testimony, then He deserves every bit of truth. Every time these subjects have come up in life, those going through the same thing (nonbelievers at that) are always telling me they wished I would tell my story, that someone from the church needs to be honest. That there are so many people who will never see a church, and there are few people who will be honest about their testimony.

Lastly for this post, let me just that yes, I did notice my bad grammar, punctuation, and possibly misspelled words. But that’s just me. You wouldn’t know that I graduated from 2 colleges…. AB-Tech with an A.A. (Pre-Liberal Arts) Degree, and from Montreat with a B.A. (English Literature). What an insult to them, but this blog is about… my testimony is… gaillovesgod! Cause that’s what my life has ALWAYS been about. Yes God was the one doing the loving me until I had a chance to meet him, but that is what a relationship with Jesus is all about. We love Him because He first loved us.

So until next time… I leave this post to start. I don’t intend to add anyone right now unless they ASK to be added so that I can have time to figure out what I am going to do if those family members read. Eventually my testimony is meant to be public. And I have to tell the ugly so that God can get the glory for the restoration. There are so many people hurting and going through the same… or worse. They need to know someone loves them, and they need to know it’s God. They need to know that loving Him is NOT going to take away the pains of life or the possibility… the LIKELIHOOD of more tragedy. But they can know that going through it with Jesus makes ALL the difference in the world. And the best part is that I can’t wait to get to the part of the testimony where I get to share what He gives me, bless me with, and so much more NOW… every day… just by being Himself!

Comfort Ye My People

“Comfort ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God.
Speak ye comfortably to Jerusalem, and cry unto her,
that her warfare is accomplished,
that her iniquity is pardoned:
for she hath received of the Lord’s hand double for all her sins.”
The voice of him that crieth in the wilderness,
prepare ye the way of the Lord,
make straight in the desert a highway for our God.
Every valley shall be exalted,
and every mountain and hill shall be made low:
and the crooked shall be made straight,
and the rough places plain: and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed,
and all flesh shall see it together:
for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.”
– Isaiah 40:1-5 KJV

Father, as I read today, I sense You telling me my warfare is accomplished in areas of my life that was a warfare… my childhood, my teen years, and as a young adult. You comfort me with assurance that my iniquity is pardoned, that I have received from Your own hand double for all of my sins. You tell me that Your glory shall be revealed in the testimony of that warfare, and that all flesh shall see it together through the writing You have gifted me with because You have spoken it, and will continue to speak it through me and for me, to those You choose to witness. You know who those souls are better than me.

My tendency to struggle with confidence and the terror of speaking out loud to others, especially in a crowd, and even more so to strangers can get in the way. But You urge me to comfort Your people, to speak comfortably, and to cry (plead) unto to them to hear how much You love them.  You know just where to persuade me. You are the One who gave me a spirit that hates to see anyone hurt. You were the One who taught my spirit to mourn with them in silence when needed, to speak in comfort when they are hurting too much not to, and when to cry out in my own pain to You with my pen, and to share it as a testimony.

You are the One who uses it from there. Even if all it does is openly praise You, and tells the world how much I love You, in the good and the bad, when it’s easy and hard, is more than enough reason to pour the ink, or hit the computer key, whether in poetry or blogging. May You be glorified in all of Your majestic ways, and in what may seem like petty whining to me sometimes, but You assure it’s all a part of of the warfare You allow for me.

You have designed my battle cry that You may be seen as the Lord of Hosts, the Lord of Armies. He who is Faithful and True comes riding in on His white horse to make war on my behalf, and to exercise fierceness and wrath on my behalf, and for those who are in the middle of their own warfare. Some need to know You have already done so, and made their warfare accomplished, and that their iniquity is pardoned.

Give me courage, Lord, to know the testimony You have given me WILL reveal Your glory. Help me to conquer those constant foes of mine… fear and doubt. Help me to lift my pen in the same way You lift Your sword on my behalf! May You be seen by as many as You want! ❤

And I pray for Alaska. Verse 4 reminds me of the terrible 7.0 earthquake they have just suffered. I pray for all those missionaries from our church as well. Hear their cry, Father. They need You. I know You are with them. Help them to feel You, to know You are present. How horrified and defeated some must feel. Help them with their current warfare. It is a fierce one, but You are mightier than all of Your enemies, and You are the Father of compassion. I love You! Your Son! And Your precious Holy Spirit! ❤ Thank You for being so personal in Your word.

My Day 5 of the Christmas 31 Day Scripture Writing Plan.
(I won’t have notes for each day.
I am doing whatever You allow, Lord.
Whatever You give! It’s all about You!)

My Day 1: Knowledge to Know

My Day 2: Obedience Is Trusting You

My Day 3: Quick Understanding

My Day 4: Glorious Rest

My Day 6: Good Tidings

My Day 7: That Good Thing

My Day 8: Abundant Peace

My Day 9: He Shall Have Dominion

My Day 10: His Name Shall Endure Forever

My Day 11: Come

My Day 12: Fuller’s Soap

My Day 13: Of The Holy Ghost

My Day 14: Call His Name Jesus

My Day 15: In Bethlehem of Judaea

My Day 16: The Star

My Day 17: Highly Favoured

My Day 18: Faith and Obedience

My Day 19: According to Thy Word

My Day 20: The Lowly of Lowlies

My Day 21: A Strong Arm

My Day 22: The Days Were Accomplished

My Day 23: Abiding Shepherds (The Night Shift)

My Day 24: A Multitude of the Heavenly Host

My Day 25: Wonder

My Day 26: The Spirit of Your Son

My Day 27: Obedient Unto Death

My Day 28: Highly Exalted

My Day 29: Every Good and Perfect Gift

My Day 30: The Hope of Eternal Life

My Day 31: Opened Eyes, Wondrous Things

Glory In The Minefield

Lord, It’s so strange… walking around in this minefield… exploring so many old tripwires. These places have long been deserted. Intentionally so. I have never been more grateful to be away from them. I use to be so afraid of looking back. Of even thinking about them. I was so afraid it would take me back and re-imprison me. I can remember thinking it was never going to stop. That things were never going to change.

These poems are reminders of times, people, places, events that were so evil. I have long been horrified to reread them. Even though I wrote them… lived them… witnessed them. The only reason I even dare to go near them is to follow You in putting them into digital storage and on the poetry blog (gaillovegodspoetry). So many times I wanted to tear many of them up.

Even now they can be hard to type and click that publish button.

They’re so personal. So evil. So dark.

They scare me even now.

Yet as I have been following You, I am completely taken by the responses. Especially from those who say they are either going through those things now, or are trying to deal with the fact of their own similar events, but to see things from a lens of bringing them to You, talking them out with You, and allowing Your Spirit to lead me in writing anything new with them, is moving them… touching them…. helping them.

They are seeing YOU instead of the evil.
How You amaze me! ❤

We have only begun to approach this dark and evil time. We are literally on the outskirts of what seems like land mines, grenades, tripwires, explosives, and so many unpredictable triggers. As we walk through 1989 alone, I have seen so many that make me cringe just to see their titles.

But this is…. a journey… a life… a testimony… that You allowed…

and continue to magnify Your Holy name through what You have done in my heart alone. And when You allow ME to see the changes, and allow the poems to help me see the freedom from them, instead of the fear and shame that the enemy wants me to live with, You allow the love that You are in my life to be a love that I never want to let go of. I am so grateful that You are a love that never wants to let go of me! If any of the words You have given me, even through such an evil adventure, can bring one other soul out of their darkness, or shine Your light of love where the enemy chains their soul… it is very worth it all.

Freedom from a mental torture takes every bit of strength that we just don’t have alone.

That is why I am so in love with YOUR Word! ❤

“My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9 AKJV

May You receive all of the glory that YOU planned before I was even born!

“Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee…” – Jeremiah 1:3 AKJV

 

Gifts 2017 #12 (200 Followers, 5,000 Views)

Christmas Countdown: God’s Favor is a gift. I intentionally added the 200 Followers and 5,000 Views so those of you who have been so kind to stop by gaillovesgodblog will know how thankful I am for you, and to praise God for His favor in allowing such growth to happen. I know it’s customary to celebrate every 100 followers, every 1,000 views and other moments, and I know I’ve not done this. I’m not doing gaillovesgodblog for numbers. I did not want to gloat about something that belongs to the Lord. But the Lord has used you to affirm He wants His whispers heard around the world. The hundreds of comments on blogs that have touched you, taught you, inspired you, but more importantly clearly stated that God used it… for whatever reason you commented… THAT is what it’s all about! So let God have His way!
Please hear me say THANK YOU as this week the blog hit 200 people who have signed up to follow every single post, and 5,000 views of the conversations between me and God (some just about Him). You have allowed God to affirm His favor on the very thing I simply followed Him by obeying His whispers. God deserves ALL His glory! HE has allowed this blog to prosper with followers, views, likes, awards, comments, and new friends all over the world! HE has allowed the poetry blog to be just a few views shy of 1,000 already. I am amazed how the poetry has also received so many comments of the God using them… even reblogging. God NEVER ceases to amaze me.
Lastly, I must praise Him for prompting Lene (aka LeneinJapan) to invite me to guest write on her Song of Virginity blog, to give my testimony. Her blog celebrates purity, whether it be as a virgin or a Christian who has been redeemed from an impure past. I was afraid to mess up my testimony, insult God, or tarnish her site. By praying, listening, and obeying God, my testimony Love of My Life – I am His Song TRIPLED the blog numbers in just a couple of days… and kept it growing. Only God’s favor could do that! Praise His Holy and Favorable name!! ❤

Make All That I Am

God, I beg you, save my soul.
Hear my confession. Take control.
Forgive my sins and wash me clean.
Help me be what You have seen.
Make my life a testimony,
that Your love is not phony.
Make my purpose known to all.
Catch and heal me when I fall.
Go before me and clear the path.
Spare me of facing Your deadly wrath.
Make my witness Your saving tool
to rescue the soul who is a fool.
Testify through me Your grace.
Place Your peace upon my face.
Share with others Your message of mercy.
Comfort others who are suffering and hurting.
Make all that I am, all that You intended.
Praise you and the Savior for this life you have mended.

6-12-01 Written by Gail Brookshire
(by the grace of God)

Satisfied Hunger

The Lord delightfully surprised me in a way that might be trivial to share with you, but meant so much to me. For God to be so personal about it! I love how He keeps doing that, even with trivial things! He loves saying, “I’m thinking of you. Even the little things.”

I was taking my son to work by 4 am. After letting him off, I found myself hungry. I mean hungry people. Remember, I hate to chew, get bored with eating, and when I do eat I pick away at my food. But my medicines sometimes eat away at my insides. I was becoming sick, and getting sicker. But there was a new problem.

From midnight to 5 am, it’s hard to eat without being stuck with McDonald’s. They’re not the worst, but it’s only breakfast and SO greasy! Biscuits or griddles mean having to eat bread. I have a bread thing. Cook Out closed at 4 am. Denny’s closed down a few months back. IHOP and Huddle House are open all night on the weekend, but this was midweek. Only place left… Waffle House (aka Awful House). Ugh… the idea of grease… or breakfast!

My stomach kept getting sicker, so I decided Waffle House so I could eat something besides a burger. I did remembered a ham and cheese omelet years before. I was dreading the grease. I was hoping something was on the menu… spaghetti or something.

It was busy, loud, and cold! I had a light jacket on with short sleeves, and am normally hot. I was freezing, but hungry! The menu was all burgers, patty melts, and breakfast. I avoid ham because of my blood pressure. I was trying to avoid meat altogether. I literally pondered for about 30 minutes. They were so busy, only the cook noticed.

Kayla came to ask me what I wanted to drink. Yes, I did soda instead of water or hot chocolate. After talking about the foods, I went with the classic cheeseburger. It was a dollar burger size. No French fries at Waffle House! I was proud of them! But the only side was hash browns. I was so hungry I just yes! No to the sauce.

Wow! My burger was small and seemed grease free (I knew better). There were large pieces of juicy, crisp lettuce. Two pieces of thick fresh tomatoes… also juicy! The bread was small and light! Didn’t bother me a bit! The hash browns were good. I started with my burger but after one bite of those hash browns, I was eating away.

I realized I was eating and was tempted to think too much. I did not care! I was hungry! My burger and hash browns satisfied my hunger! I thought, “Everybody wants me to eat. I’m eating! And good!” I even ate pie! Oh. My. Word! I’ve not eaten pie in forever! Freddie the cook made it warm and delicious! The pecans were soft! I ate away from the crust, but I ate! I even drank half of my drink!

You think I feel guilty for those who believe I’m overweight because they think all I do is eat, and think I’ve been big all my life? Or because of the struggle TO eat because of hating to chew or thinking it’s boring to eat? No ma’am! No sir! God made my morning! He thought of me personally. My hunger was satisfied. My body felt great! Hydrated! Nourished! Thank you, God, for our time! We made 2 new friends… Kayla and Freddie.