My New Journal With You, Note 5

**Verses are inserted exactly where God had them placed in my new journal at the bottom of each page. I love how personal He is!  **

Good early morning, Lord. How are You? I pray You are blessed, happy, and well pleased. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for being my family, and for allowing me to be a part of Yours!

I am grateful for all You do, LORD. Even when it’s so hard as it is right now. I’m trying to bear what I must in my cross, in my consequences, in Your will. I do have that question laying on my mind. Is this the way things are going to always be now? Just getting worse as they continue? Have I brought this on myself? Is this one of those Job things where You test me? I hope not because I know I fail You in being whiny, grouchy, depressed, and just ready to give up.

I think of the song (hymn) “Till The Storm Passes Over.” The line that says, “Many times Satan whispered, there is no need to try, for there’s no end in sorrow, there’s no hope by and by. But I know Thou art with me, and tomorrow I’ll rise where the storm never darkens the skies.”

“Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.” – James 1:12 KJV

You lovingly remind me that Job too was depressed (his soul was cast down), and questioned with words that devalued his life. You remind me of Jeremiah who said he would have been better off if his mother’s womb were his grave.

You know man’s spirit. How easy it is to break. How heavy it can weigh. And how discouraged our despair can choke us with. You know how we truly are, and how our mind can play such cruel games with us.

You remind me that Your strength is made perfect in my weakness. That You walk with me in the valley of the shadow of death. That You uphold me with Your right hand. That You will not leave me comfortless. And that Jesus and the Holy Ghost are praying for me. They are my intercessors.

I don’t know if this pain, this discomfort, and the unpleasantness of poor health will continue, but I know You know my battle. I know You know I have fought long and hard. And I know You fight my battle much fiercer than I. Yet I also know I sit here feeling so defeated with a body that I can’t seem to take care of, or if I have (and do),

“It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.” – Lamentations 3:22-23 KJV

it doesn’t feel like I even have the ability to honor You as I should with the vessel You give, in the shell that You say the Holy Spirit resides in. How incredibly reckless and negligent I feel. Surely You must be so disappointed.

And if it’s not me, but Your will for Your purpose, insulting I must be to You, and disappointing, even offending You with constant negative words. And as the skin burns, and the sting bites so hard, I still find myself fighting to keep my spirit in reverence, as You deserve. My hope tries to fail me. And my testimony seems so pointless.

And them You remind me as You have many times that You love me, all of me… the good, the bad, and the ugly. You don’t care for the behavior, but always love me. So while I don’t know the answer to that question, I know the God who promised to love me even when my

“For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.” – 2 Corinthians 4:16 KJV

words and spirit fail me… and You.

You know how the flesh is. And You still love us anyway. On top of that You promise a brand new body, and a brand new world where sin can never enter, and the flesh seeks only to praise Your Holy Name. How I look forward to those promises being fulfilled. I KNOW You will.

I end with Your loving reminder of the prayer in Your word. “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!” –

❤ I love You, Father God!
❤ I love You, Lord Jesus!
❤ I love You, Holy Spirit!

“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” – Romans 12:2 KJV

PS… Lord, I LOVE how Your verses always address exactly what I am talking to You about, but from Your wisdom of what I need. You are so personal! ❤

Fix Her Crown Award 4.21.2020

“Blessed is the man that endureth temptation:
for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life,
which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.”
– James 1:12 KJV

I anything that makes me think on the book of James, Dear Lord! I love that book because it makes me think on Your love, who You are, the beauty of obedience, righteousness, patience, the tongue, our spirit, and everything to do with who You are! My God, my love, my friend, my rewarder, my God. Thank You for making me think on it by having Herry of Herry Chic Counsels nominate me for the incredibly precious Fix Her Crown Award. Bless her and her ministry, Lord! ❤

Thank you, Herry, for allowing the Lord to use you to bring a smile to my day. Your messages and comments are always so uplifting and encouraging!
God loves you, Herry! He treasures you! ❤fix-her-crown-award-logoThe Rules Are Simple:
– Thank the person who nominated you and link to her blog.
– Copy and paste these rules to your post and please include a link to the original Fix Her Crown Award post: which was created by Cindy Goes Beyond.
– Post three photos of just yourself and write a short caption beneath each about why you chose that photo.
– Nominate seven women for the Fix Her Crown Award, women who lend a helping hand to the woman whose crown seems too heavy, who appreciate the sister who dares to be her own glorious self, who raise strong young women, who smile at the sister journeying alone and walk alongside her for a time, who stand with the sister whose crown has been knocked off her head time after time and women who shine as their own beautifully unique selves.
– Link to the blogs of the seven nominees

My 3 Pics:1979.1Pic 1: Foster Care School Pic, 9 yrs old

Father, this picture makes me think fondly on my dad.  Foster Care was the first time we (kids) were able to wear clean clothes, nice clothes, and on a regular basis. At home we wore our clothes 3 or 4 days in a row. We wore holes in our jeans before it was considered cool, and kids paid over $100 to buy them with holes in them. At least we had the fun of wearing them out and knowing the story behind the holes. 🙂 So you can imagine my dad’s surprise when in my early 20s I bought a pair of jeans from Goodwill for $1.00. They were cut from the top of the leg to the hem with a razor, on both legs, front and back. I liked the way they looked, and hey even if I were to cut them it’s still just a pair of shorts. My dad said they looked like I lost a fight with a cat and were a waste of money. “You mean like I won the fight. I mean I do have the pants and am still walking.” My dad was not amused. 🙂

1980.5Pic 2: New school pic in cheerleading uniform, 10 yrs old
(was back home, and cheering for local community organization)

Lord, I absolutely loved cheerleading!!! It was perfect for a high energy kid like I was. We were the WASPs (West Asheville Sports Program). When we came home from foster care, we were put on a baseball team. Our color was blue. When football season rolled around I asked my dad to let me sign up and on a purple team. He told me they would only let me cheer for the team. I first said no, but when we took my brothers to play, we went over to watch. I was so excited that I grabbed those pom poms and shook them like a true boss (related to the first cheer we were given). 😉 Thanks for the memories!

“We’re Big.. B.I.G.
And we’re BAD… B.A.D.
And we’re Boss… B.O.S.S B.O.S.S. BOSS”
– Repeat three times 🙂 –

 

2016.1Pic 3: Meeting my cousin on the Parkway in May 2016

Lord,this was an exciting day as I got to meet up with my cousin Kimberly as she was walking back on the MST (Mountain to Sea Trail). She ended up being the first woman to YOYO it. That means she walked from Clingmans Dome on the Tennessee/North Carolina Border all the way to Jockey’s Ridge on the coast, and then kept walking to go all the way back to where she started on the Tennessee/North Carolina border at Clingmans Dome. That was 1200 miles each way! A total of 2400 miles, plus the hike into Cherokee in the end to meet her Dad. You allowed so many here in the WordPress Community to help me to send encouraging messages to her when I would update on the blog. I Pray for her and her hiking adventures, Lord. Keep her safe.

My Nominees:
1.  Lovely A of Discovering Your Happiness
2.  Anabel of Lebana’s Journal
3.  Natasha of Explore Yourself
4.  Heather of To Strengthen a Mother’s Heart
5.  Karen of A Couple of Stars and a Happy Face
6.  Lene of Wrestling with Faith – Dancing with Jesus
7.  Efua of Grace Over Pain
8.  Pastor’s Wife of Created and Called
9.  Tasha of Pain Warrior Code
10 Anna Waldherr of A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse
11. Hayley of HayleyBoden.Com
12. Tracey of Yarn and Pencil
13. Queen of Unbreakable Queen’s Life Lessons Diary
14. TR of Inside Cup
15. Alicia of For His Purpose
16. Amy of A New Life

Some nominees above are either taking a break from blogging or have deleted their accounts altogether, but I want them all to know I’ve not forgotten how they were there for me from the beginning. Most of my blog posts are me being honest with God on a personal level. How incredibly like Him to send me encouraging sisters and daughters in the faith to reassure, counsel, and instruct… to be the sweetest of friendships with the sweetest of fellowships! We may not keep in touch as we once did, but I will always think of them as family! Me and God love you each one, and pray for you as much as God will allow ❤

Congratulations to the nominees. please do not feel obligated to participate. Just sharing a little of God’s love your way. Let me know if you. I would love to read your post.
Me and God love each one of you ❤