A Week of Loss

A kind and loving person died today.
Her name was Jessie.
Her dog Jubilee is going to miss her so much.
This was their last picture together.
58852754_10156193511708365_1033950128823599104_nJessie had fought a long battle with cancer.
After winning a couple of rounds, she lost the last one today.
She was a very kind and giving person.

One of her last two posts included this picture below:
Be good to people for no reason.58796889_1132628666861112_6811418897065967616_nI cannot credit the picture to its creator because it was one of those Facebook pictures that got passed around without being properly credited. However, it describes her very nature. That was how the Lord blessed me with meeting her. I cannot tell of that generous act that she did as a total stranger because when she was being so benevolent, her greatest wish (next to helping someone in need) was being anonymous… truly anonymous. I am choosing to honor her the way she wanted it. It truly brought her such joy to give, and just as much joy to watch from a distance as the blessing blessed! If a person insisted on giving back to her, she insisted to give by passing it on.

In Memory of you, Jessie!
Thank you for letting God use you!
Hug Jesus for me! See you soon!

 


On Tuesday a member of my stepdad’s church family was buried. I cannot give too much information because she took her own life and there is concern the “ripple effect” is not over. This same family had lost her sister last year to a car accident. This family has a tie to our family in that there was a child born years ago to a member from each side but were never married, and the one from our family passed away years ago. This church family is extremely close as well. My son grew up in this church. I still take my stepdad each week. He has been there over 50 years.

Lord, be with this family
and the church!


And then there’s dear Kathleen,
who happens to be my Great Aunt.
She died just over a week ago
and buried last weekend.
Kathleen-Coxie1

When I first met her, neither one of us knew we were related. We worked together at a Christian book club warehouse. We found out when I told her she reminded me so much of my grandmother and that they had so many things in common (singers, played the same instruments, both had families that worked on the railroad, Her name being Kathleen and my grandmother’s was Kathryn). When She heard the name, she shouted and hugged me. She had been married to my grandmother’s brother, both of whom were long passed.

Yet if Kathleen were to tell you her favorite memory, it would most certainly be when she gave me a prayer cloth to give to my son Anthoni. Anthoni was in 10th grade of high school when the doctor’s told me he had bone cancer. I was a 35 year old single mom living alone, and had just lost my dad around the same time. I myself had just been told I had a Lupus test come back positive and was being referred to a rheumatologist (although no one at work but my boss knew this, and that was only because she took the call and then brought the phone to me).

Anthoni’s orthopedic specialist told me he wanted to do surgery to confirm his diagnosis. My friend Irene (who I miss so much) was sitting with me in the surgery waiting room when the doctor came in and confirmed that both he and his colleague had seen the cancer, but wanted to biopsy a piece of the bone before they decided if they needed to remove just a piece of the bone or a section of the bone. He wanted to be safe, but also wanted to avoid unnecessary additional surgery to place something in Anthoni’s arm to support the bone where there would be a huge hole. They would have to wait on pathology to give them that answer.

When Kathleen and my coworkers found out they were so broken for me. Just weeks before they had witnessed me being so sick that one of the men asked why I didn’t just go on home, and the ladies told him I had to work because I had a sick son at home with no one to help. Anthoni was so sick that he needed an Rx and some cough medicine. The insurance paid for his Rx, but not the cough medicine. All of them pitched in together and had my boss insist I take it. It was exactly what he needed to get well! Praise God! When they heard about the bone cancer and the surgery, Kathleen immediately ran to the break room and ran back shouting for me while waving a white handkerchief.

She told me it was a prayer cloth. While I did not believe in them, I did not want to offend Kathleen. I was grateful for her heart, and the fact that she was obviously one serious prayer warrior. When I took it home, my 16 year old bible scholar son informed me that it was actually referred to in the bible. :O

“And God wrought special miracles by the hands of Paul: so that from his body were brought unto the sick handkerchiefs or aprons, and the diseases departed from them, and the evil spirits went out of them.” – Acts 19:11-12 KJV

I was completely surprised to say the least! So Anthoni put it in his wallet as an act of appreciation, and faith in prayer. Kathleen was so excited when I told them a week later that the doctor had let us know the pathology showed it was actually a fracture that had healed in a way they had never seen before. They were saying it was not bone cancer after all! I asked, “But I thought both you and your colleague had seen it with your own eyes while his hand was open during surgery, and confirmed it was cancer?” 

“We did!” He exclaimed. “We are completely surprised at the results! Let’s just keep an eye on it. If it does not grow or simply goes away, we will go by the pathology.”

Kathleen said in such a delightful soft tone, “What cancer?” She smiled as she said, “It was the prayer cloth!” I could not argue with her and did not want to. As a mom I wanted to first obey the doctor in giving it time to see, but I was praying that it was the miracle we needed. It was! 🙂

Kathleen was delighted to have introduced me to the prayer cloth.

This is a much longer post than I thought I would write in the beginning. I was just going to honor Jessie by sharing that quote. While downloading and uploading, the Lord brought me across Kathleen’s picture. She was a much needed smile. It has been such a sad time for me for awhile now. Jessie’s loss just added to it. I’m also sad because I do not know if she got to see my card I sent her on Wednesday.

If you stayed with me this far into the post I will be honest with you. I have been struggling with depression much longer and harder than I mention… and I do mention it.

The saddest part is that I cannot share this on my FB because family argues so much. I certainly cannot share anything personal. It is so sad because the majority of those I’ve known through my life to have troubles or trauma, it is well over 50% family related. I would even say 90%. This is so opposite of the picture Jessie shared!

Jesus told us…

“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.” – John 13:34-35 KJV

I’m so grateful that God allowed Kathleen and my coworkers to be so kind to me, my son, and my family when my dad passed. I am so grateful He allowed me to meet Jessie through her kind heart. And I am most grateful to have known the kindness of God!

Love and miss you, Kathleen!
Hug Gran and Jesus for me!
I’ll be home soon!

 

Gifts 2017 #21 Prayer Warriors

Christmas Countdown: Prayer Warriors are a gift. They are such a blessing and so encouraging. I have many friends who are in need of prayer and encouragement this Christmas season. Please help me to pray for them.

shian.1Shian is dear to me. She led our bible study, and the Lord used her during a very challenging time of my life. I memorized the entire book of James. I cannot tell you how it helped me through multiple MRIs and other imaging, doctor appointments and procedures, and more. May the Lord return than blessing and encouragement to Shian. Her back fracture led to finding she has cancer (multiple myeloma) in her plasma cells throughout her body. At this point she is continuing chemotherapy and will prepare for a stem cell transplant. This is her with her husband, daughter, and son-in-law.

shian.2

I do not know what God has ahead for Shian, but I know He is a God that can! Heal! Comfort! Just this week Crystal (my friend that you have been helping me to pray for during her chemo treatments this summer to combat her Hodgkin’s lymphoma) found out she is Cancer free! She is a survivor! Praise God!

crystal.1

There are still many others who need us to pray for them, including many of you on WordPress who are dealing with your own struggles. Christmas continues even though someone doesn’t feel well. The year will completely end and a new one begin. We need our prayer warriors… and we need to be one! May God bless you each one who prays. Lord, please be with my friend, Shian and her family. Help Crystal to continue to be well. Be with each one who needs you. Thank you for allowing us to pray for one another.

“Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms.
Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:
And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”
– James 5:13-16 KJV

 

 

Chemo is DONE. Now what?

Let’s not forget to keep praying for Crystal! She has finished her chemo and is just waiting for a PET scan (which is not even until Dec.20), and the result from that scan. God can do anything!!Don’t forget to pray for her doctors, nurses, technicians, and everyone who has been a part of her care, as well as her family! Especially her family!
God loves you, Crystal! And so do we! ❤

The days  leading up to my last chemo session were tough for me. I should’ve been thrilled that I’d be walking into my chemo room for the very last time. I should’ve been so relieved. I should’ve felt on top of the world. At least that’s what everyone kept telling me.

I actually think the last treatment was one of the hardest ones. I tried to be happy about it, but honestly who’s ever happy about going to chemo? On top of that, I know that I still have to wait for my PET scan results before I can officially say I’m done. That final scan has been on my mind a lot lately and I’ve been so nervous/stressed about it. I’ve had nightmares that the results didn’t come back clean and it’s terrifying to even think about. Today, for the very first time, I woke up with a strong feeling that…

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