Tag: brother

Happy Birthday, Charlie and Grandma Nellie

On By gaillovesgodIn Heaven's Residents, So Much Loss, So Much Gain, Uncategorized17 Comments

Happy Birthday, Charlie and Grandma Nellie! The Lord knows how much I love and miss you both! Thank You, Lord, for the assurance that I know they are safe and happy with You on their special day and every day! ❤

Grandma Nellie Mae was my Dad’s mom. We saw her sparingly, but she was nice. My dad didn’t really grow up with her either because he was just 5 when his dad died, and Nellie was suffering from mental illness and could not take care of him and his 14 siblings. So his older brother from the 1st marriage, who was 30 something years older, raised him. He struggled with bitterness toward her for a great while but was still glad to see her. It would not be till years later that we learned Charlie (my baby brother) was born on her birthday! She died while we were kids.

A picture we have of her as a nurse looks so much like her daughter Beulah (our aunt) that sometimes there is a playful debate over whether it’s actually Nellie or Beulah.

Charlie was my baby brother. Yes I said was. We were 10 months apart. My mom literally had him 46 days before my first birthday. He was my 1st birthday present. 😉
Below is a picture on the left when he was just 3 years old at the state fair that used to come to our local Speedway but now comes to the Agriculture Center.
In the picture on the right I was barely 12 so Charlie is 11. He’s standing on the car getting ready to lunge and hug my mom. Nathan has a hold of his leg because they wrestled all the time. We had just moved to Hickory.

Below in the left picture Charlie is in the middle of cutting up with his friends. Charlie was blessed with a multitude of friends, a handful of close guy friends, but Homey (in blue) was Charlie’s best friend.
The picture below on the right shows where he loved to be… on a roof! He was a roofer like dad. He could carry 3 bundles of shingles up a roof, but it made my dad so uncomfortable. He preferred he only carry 2… lol. (So you know, most roofers struggle to carry 1 bundle.) Charlie was very strong, yet had a very tender heart.

He also had a dream to be in law enforcement. When he met his wife, she encouraged him to follow his dreams. They were divorced after his BLET (Basic Law Enforcement Training) graduation, but before he became a deputy. Here are a couple of pictures the day he got his uniform and handcuffs. He was so excited that he wanted to show off the uniform and use the handcuffs… which he did on my son Anthoni.

Charlie’s birthday is the hardest for me to mention because his loss has been the hardest for me. In 2007, my mom’s sister had died and we were at her viewing when they took us into a backroom of the funeral home to let us know that Charlie was shot and killed in my mom’s home. He was 37. It is so hard that I am writing this the day after his birthday. 30713429_10215427963030520_2759935727145344905_n (1)Sometimes it is too hard for me to talk about people I love and miss on their special days until afterwards, or not at all. It’s so personal, and I am horrible with dealing with my emotions. I have been even more shut off since Charlie’s death. Writing poetry is where I can do that because poetry allows for symbolic and vague meanings, yet allows a writer to express what they want to reluctantly say behind safe words. I learned to do that with writing at a very young age.
I miss Charlie so much it hurts more than I can say. It literally takes my breath if I think too much on it. It was such a cruel and senseless death. But as I leave you with more pictures of his smile and personality, I leave you with the same words that Christ left me.

“But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him.
For this we say unto you by the word of the Lord, that we which are alive and remain unto the coming of the Lord shall not prevent them which are asleep. For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Then we which are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds, to meet the Lord in the air: and so shall we ever be with the Lord.
Wherefore comfort one another with these words.”
– 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 KJV

My baby brother is in a much better place. I would never be so cruel as to bring him back to this cold and vile world just so I could hug him but then make him have to suffer the troubles of this world, know sickness and pain again, heartache, and to worry about him every time I hear of terrorism, airplane crashes, train derailments, or the rampant deaths from flu, and the never ending growing list of friends and family dying slow painful deaths of cancer and so many other illnesses that suck the life out of people.

And if there is anyone who understands the pain of my loss but the joy of Charlie’s gain it is my Savior Jesus Christ. Jesus not only felt the loss of his dear friend Lazarus who was resurrected, but Jesus also had a dearly beloved cousin who was needlessly murdered as a party favor for a seductress, because of the influence of a heartless woman, and because of a coward who could not control his lust, and was more concerned about being a laughing stock by those who witnessed pride get the better of a weak man. John the Baptist was decapitated and had his head served on a platter during a birthday party. No one paid for his crime… YET!
Christ will have his day of justice. And so will my brother. For now, John and Charlie, and even Jesus, are now at home with our heavenly Father. No one will ever harm them again! Nor make jokes of their deaths! And because Christ STILL chose to die for us regardless of His own grief and pain, I can pray for my enemies as well. That’s just ONE more of the tender acts of mercy and grace Jesus did because of how much He loves you and me!

PRAISE GOD FOR A SAVIOR WHO LOVES…
MORE THAN WE CAN EVER UNDERSTAND! ❤
THAT IS A BIRTHDAY PRESENT WORTH CELEBRATING!

 

It’s Snowy Around Here

On By gaillovesgodIn Uncategorized, Writing10 Comments

Lord, I was going to call this 1st Snow 2017, but many could debate that as there has been “some” snow here and there. It is the 1st “big” snow. Everyone has been posting their pics. I am 3 days late, but it was a big enough snow to leave plenty laying around, as you can see from the neighbor’s snow man. Anthoni and Sandra (son and sister) were so excited about that snowman.

There was snow out back everywhere too. 😉

I then ventured out front… well to the porch anyway.
As you can see the steps were a bit snowy too. 🙂

I took a picture of the car, but the sun made such a glare. At first I was going to delete it, but thought, “That is exactly what it’s like trying to look at everything when not in the shade. Let them see just how blinding it is.“

The same thing happened with the wishing well.
(which is leaning now) 😦

Even the bushes were still holding snow pretty good. And considering where they were near the house, that would explain why we lost satellite service. We were very blessed, Lord, to have only been without Satellite. I pray for our family and friends who were (and some still are) without power, water, or heat.

But from the looks of the tree closest to the house not having as much now, that would explain why the satellite came back on yesterday afternoon. 🙂1stsnow.10

Yep, it was pretty snowy around here, and still is. But with Your help, I will get that snow off the car, and get to my therapy tomorrow. For while I am praying to You for my therapists to get their cars, driveways, and steps cleared safely as well, I am also reminded of the stanza from Amazing Grace that sings,

“The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,
The sun forbear to shine;
But God, who called me here below,
Will be forever mine.”

May we be ready for that day, Lord.

 

Finally… Coming Home

On By gaillovesgodIn Poetry, Uncategorized, WritingLeave a comment

Finally… the guys are coming home.
We’ve been praying for so long, and God heard us all along.
Yes, we lost a few men, and in my opinion many souls
who gave their all to defend our and their country.
We can’t forget them, and if we were to, it would be such a shame.
For a life lost for fighting for yet another life,
is wonderful compared to a life lost and forgotten.
And let us not forget our allies who were there by our side.
They were just as important, and played a very valuable role.
Without them we would have had a longer war and lost more lives.
Oh, for so long we’ve waited for them to come, but there are some
who will never come home, nor receive a honorable burial either,
due to the tragedy of becoming lost in combat.
No one knows where they are, nor what they go through,
and if they’ll ever return or be found.
We pray for them and their families.
And the prisoners of war are finally walking away from their horrible chains.
But the nightmare will carry on.
Let’s pray for them all – and thank God
that those of whom are coming home are blessed enough to do so.
And as we thank God, let us not forget,
those that are still over there, waiting to come home.
Waiting to see our land again, and hold their families.
May God be with us all.

3-7-91 Written by Gail Brookshire
(by the grace of God)
Inspiration: Operation Desert Storm

You Were Dear

On By gaillovesgodIn Poetry, UncategorizedLeave a comment

A sign is left behind
that you were here.
You were loved.
You were dear.
Your life is gone,
Your spirit near.
How we miss
You being here.
We love you brother.
We miss you so.
God is blessed.
This we know.
Hug him for us,
As you wait along.
I hope we won’t
Be too long.

11-5-11 Written by Gail Brookshire
(by the grace of God)

This was written for my baby brother Charlie who was killed when he was 37 years old. My mom had him 10 months after I was born. I always told everybody he was my 1st birthday present. Some people thought we were twins because we shared the same age for a couple of months each year.
His 2 favorite songs at the time of his death were
I Can Only Imagine by MercyMe, and Long Black Train by Josh Turner

Jesus in Agony – Luke 22:44 KJV

On By gaillovesgodIn Uncategorized, Writing2 Comments

And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground. – Luke 22:44 KJV

I’m a little behind on blogging, but to still be doing it at all is progress. My mind is so distracted with other things and other people. As I was giving God my time first this morning, Luke 22:44 grasped my heart. I remembered the word agony in this verse being pointed out in a bible study once. I had read it before but for some reason I had allowed myself to forget that Jesus did not suffer (allow) His pain heroically like we like to preach and teach. It was heroic to do what He was doing, but the whole purpose of it was to suffer “as we do”… to show us He is not “above” feeling pain like we do.

We are romantic in wishing for a story of a God who could suffer like He’s just walking through the park, but then not only would it not be genuine suffering, it would be discrediting the God who says He loves us, and showed us by sending His only Son. But being away from His Son isn’t good enough. To watch His ONLY Son agonize in pain is what gets our attention. We soon feel qualified to stamp him as “actually hurting” and MAYBE He “actually cares”. But then we can still think, “But it’s not MY situation, so it’s either not enough, or just not the same.” What agony WE must put our Jesus through. What agony must we give His Father.

As I am thinking of all this, I can’t help but think of a family member who has said time and time again… “He hasn’t suffered like I do. He doesn’t know what suffering is.” He has even thrown the F word to Him, even using His own Father’s name to Him. Yet God was long suffering and allowed that family member to live through a time that he came so close to dying that we were called several times to stand and watch as his body fought so hard… whether to live or to die is hard to say now that he is well alive. He later had moments of saying he loved God and was sorry, but really never could grasp what Jesus went through for him. Part of this was because of his mental illness that did not allow him to care for ANYone above himself. Part of this was because of his upbringing teaching him to be like that, and his environment telling him he has the right to be whomever he wants (when what they were really saying was, if you change it makes us look bad so stay like you are to make us look good without having to be good).

Now… this family member is facing death again. The papers have been signed to begin his journey through the valley of the shadow of death… except I don’t think this will be a shadow. It IS the valley of death. Only God knows what is going to happen in the end… and after. While I cannot know 100% sure that he will be in heaven, I cannot know 100% that he won’t. That is what the Lord gives me as I think on this word agony. I also think of my brother who is going through so much of his own hardship. He is and will be suffering the agony of losing someone so close to him, all while he is suffering cancer himself, and will suffer surgery to attempt to remove it WHILE in the process of losing that loved one. Jesus agonized for my brother too. He agonized for each one of us.

What God so desperately wants us to remember is His Son suffered… for us… His ONLY Son. He wants us to know it was so that we would know He does love us and cares that we suffer. But whether we can grasp it or not, believe it or not, or care or not…. we need to remember! We need to remember that Jesus suffered… in agony… alone… with great drops of SWEAT… that were like drops of blood. May you remember what Jesus agonized for you. May you know that whatever you agonize over… He cares! And whether you do or not… may you never forget… Jesus agonized!