My New Journal With You, Note 5

**Verses are inserted exactly where God had them placed in my new journal at the bottom of each page. I love how personal He is!  **

Good early morning, Lord. How are You? I pray You are blessed, happy, and well pleased. Thank You for loving me. Thank You for being my family, and for allowing me to be a part of Yours!

I am grateful for all You do, LORD. Even when it’s so hard as it is right now. I’m trying to bear what I must in my cross, in my consequences, in Your will. I do have that question laying on my mind. Is this the way things are going to always be now? Just getting worse as they continue? Have I brought this on myself? Is this one of those Job things where You test me? I hope not because I know I fail You in being whiny, grouchy, depressed, and just ready to give up.

I think of the song (hymn) “Till The Storm Passes Over.” The line that says, “Many times Satan whispered, there is no need to try, for there’s no end in sorrow, there’s no hope by and by. But I know Thou art with me, and tomorrow I’ll rise where the storm never darkens the skies.”

“Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.” – James 1:12 KJV

You lovingly remind me that Job too was depressed (his soul was cast down), and questioned with words that devalued his life. You remind me of Jeremiah who said he would have been better off if his mother’s womb were his grave.

You know man’s spirit. How easy it is to break. How heavy it can weigh. And how discouraged our despair can choke us with. You know how we truly are, and how our mind can play such cruel games with us.

You remind me that Your strength is made perfect in my weakness. That You walk with me in the valley of the shadow of death. That You uphold me with Your right hand. That You will not leave me comfortless. And that Jesus and the Holy Ghost are praying for me. They are my intercessors.

I don’t know if this pain, this discomfort, and the unpleasantness of poor health will continue, but I know You know my battle. I know You know I have fought long and hard. And I know You fight my battle much fiercer than I. Yet I also know I sit here feeling so defeated with a body that I can’t seem to take care of, or if I have (and do),

“It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.” – Lamentations 3:22-23 KJV

it doesn’t feel like I even have the ability to honor You as I should with the vessel You give, in the shell that You say the Holy Spirit resides in. How incredibly reckless and negligent I feel. Surely You must be so disappointed.

And if it’s not me, but Your will for Your purpose, insulting I must be to You, and disappointing, even offending You with constant negative words. And as the skin burns, and the sting bites so hard, I still find myself fighting to keep my spirit in reverence, as You deserve. My hope tries to fail me. And my testimony seems so pointless.

And them You remind me as You have many times that You love me, all of me… the good, the bad, and the ugly. You don’t care for the behavior, but always love me. So while I don’t know the answer to that question, I know the God who promised to love me even when my

“For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.” – 2 Corinthians 4:16 KJV

words and spirit fail me… and You.

You know how the flesh is. And You still love us anyway. On top of that You promise a brand new body, and a brand new world where sin can never enter, and the flesh seeks only to praise Your Holy Name. How I look forward to those promises being fulfilled. I KNOW You will.

I end with Your loving reminder of the prayer in Your word. “Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!” –

❤ I love You, Father God!
❤ I love You, Lord Jesus!
❤ I love You, Holy Spirit!

“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” – Romans 12:2 KJV

PS… Lord, I LOVE how Your verses always address exactly what I am talking to You about, but from Your wisdom of what I need. You are so personal! ❤