Day 8 of 47 for Lent Plan

GOD, I HAVE BEEN ENJOYING THE BIBLE READING PLAN YOU HAVE BEEN WALKING ME THROUGH. I’M SORRY TO BE SO LATE GETTING THEM ON, BUT WITH YOUR HELP WE’LL GET THEM ON LITTLE BY LITTLE.
NO RUSH. JUST CONVALESCING WITH YOU, AND FOLLOWING YOUR LEAD IN SHARING WITH OTHERS.
YOUVERSION (A BIBLE APP YOU HAVE BLESSED ME WITH)
IS DOING A PLAN CALLED LENT: REMEMBERING THE LIFE OF JESUS.

Day 8 of 47 for Lent Plan – “Jesus Preaches Throughout All Galilee”
Reading: Matthew 4:23-25, Mark 1:35-39, Luke 4:42-44 KJV

Further Study

  • What things did Jesus do while He traveled throughout Galilee?
    – Preached and Healed (and taught)
  • Jesus healed people with various diseases. List what these were.
    – sicknesses, disease, torments, possessed with the devil, lunatics, palsy, casting out devils
  • What is the reason Jesus gave in Luke 4:43 as to why He was sent?
    – to preach

Reflect

  • Worship: Write down one attribute of God and worship Him for who He is.
    Healer. Thank You, God, for caring about even the mentally ill, no matter kight or severe. All my life anyone who had a mental health issue were simply “mental,” “crazy,” “”off their rocker.” My own Aunt Mildred was treated horribly. We were told not to listen to her or have anything to do with her because “she was crazy.” Later she was found to have been misdiagnosed in her 20s when the doctors told our family she had schizophrenia, put into a mental institution, given electric shocks, and put on medication for life.
    The neurologist who treated her for her stroke in 2006 (in her 70s) said the MRI of her brain showed scarring from several small strokes, probably in her 20s, which were worsened by the electric shocks, and left her speech impaired, and gave her severe shaking.
    Thank You, God for improving science, medical knowledge, mental awareness, and medications, and society’s improved acceptance. So many were used for jokes and cruelty! My anxiety feels like a curse most days, or a plague that renders the most brilliant and talented doctors ineffective because they are so intimidated or overwhelmed by it. Thank You for education on both sides.
    Most of all, thank You for my therapist. Thank You for his patience, his compassion, his understanding, his skill, and all that You give him, and allow him to share with others… like me. Thank You that not all counselors/psychologists are bad. I pray for all of them because even the ones who try to genuinely help, they are human and have their own issues. And though they can’t help cure everything, they are not You either. Only You, God, know the human mind, the human spirit, and the human body perfectly. You allow healing, and You allow illness. Sometimes it is even by Your design.
    Thank You for allowing Jesus to be our Wonderful Counselor as Your word says, and thank You for allowing the Holy Ghost to be our Comforter, and thank You for being such a loving Father, and a caring God. You are a good, good Father. It’s who You ARE!You’re a good, good Father, and I’m loved by You! ❤ I love You too! ❤ 🙂
  • Prayer: Pray for the salvation of people in your life who don’t know Jesus.
  • Remembrance: Think about a need you have met in someone else’s life. How did that make you feel?
    – You bring to mind taking care of Bobby (my stepddad), and Mom as well. It makes me feel humbled, grateful, amazed. I would have thought I was unable to, and that no one else would have thought so either. Especially after I spent many years hearing You clearly telling me to respect Mom with submission until of age, then to move out and do it without any guilt or desire to come back. To continue to respect her as my Mother, and to leave how she was into Your hands, to focus on my own behavior, attitude, and my relationship with You. To remember that I am to be surrendered, submitted, and respectful to You… obedient. You had me carry Proverbs 3:5-6 with me.
    “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
    And, Lord, You are reminding me that I took care of Dad too. I often forget that. I just don’t think of taking care of someone as “something I did.” I’m supposed to do that because You tell me to, and You provide the strength or whatever else I need to do it as You promise. And anything I lack, You always show me purpose in it, and use it mightier than the strength You provide… even for the one who needed whatever it was that I couldn’t give… like healing. Again Your word comes to mind.
    “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” – (2 Corinthians 12:9 KJV)
  • Self-Evaluation: Is there any part of you that isn’t well? Whether it’s emotionally, spiritually, financially, mentally, or physically, bring this concern before God.
    – Oh, LORD, my dear Father God. I think the positive would be to find what IS well. My spirit is well when I keep my mind on You! That’s why You constantly have me sing, “It is well.” The first line is where my soul is always drawn to AND comforted no matter the circumstance.
    “When peace like a river attendeth my way,
    When sorrows like sea billows roll;
    Whatever my lot Thou hast taught me to say,
    “It is well, it is well with my soul!”
    It is well with my soul!
    It is well, it is well with my soul!”
    – It Is Well, hymn lyrics by Horatio Gates Spafford
    Even the pain becomes a peace like I can’t put into words, and like nothing else can do. No medicine can touch the peace that passes all understanding! The God of peace provides His peace the way He sees best! ❤ 
    **Side note** This question made me smile after talking with my therapist yesterday (now day before). I will try to make a better effort in making notes. By Your grace and in YOUR strength.

A Kind Act

  • Write a note of gratitude to Your mail carrier.

 

Rachel & Leah Bible Study: Night 6 of 6 (Follow Up)

IMG_20190324_153532Week Six

Well here we are my lovely Lord and Savior… the Preserver of my soul… the Bright and Morning Star… the Bearer of my weary soul. How much You have given me through this study… so many thoughts of encouragement and delightful pieces of You to share. Yet all I can give You today in this post is thanking You for allowing me to accomplish this moment… if You allow me to get it typed, pictures added, and posted.

Truth Six: Let the success of others encourage not discourage you.
Combating Verse: 2 Corinthians 10:12 KJV
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.IMG_20190324_153610

So much has happened while I have been struggling just to make it from moment to moment. If I don’t get this typed, I fear it won’t. So many of the wonderful things You have brought me and done for me, and for those around me are lost in my inability to remember… word for word… day by day… or moment to moment. But I remember in moments that make me smile, or at least help me bear my burden (my cross) as we are all called to do. But I will share what You will allow.

I remember the sweet sleep in the car, the fondness of a friend, and excitement to be joining many more dear friends. I remember I was so excited to finally get a Sprig of Joy fundraiser can!

I remember Keitha being excited to let us know Nicki Koziarz is coming to her Keitha’s church on June 20th. Nicki is the author of this ladies bible study we’ve been doing:
Rachel & Leah: What Two Sisters Teach Us About Combating Comparison.
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I remember being blessed by the daily devotionals for each morning.

Day One: Where God Speaks6.2.11Day one reminded me of one of the key figures we are easy to forget was an important part in all of the comparison and hardship that Jacob, Laban, Leah, Rachel, Zilpah, and Bilhah were all tangled up in. Esau was Jacob’s first rival. It was Jacob who struggled with jealousy and comparison. His actions toward Esau were exactly those of Laban towards Jacob. And Jacob gained the same ill character in his wives and father in law, the same ill character that his children would inherit. The deception Jacob learned from the whisper of his mother Rebecca to usurp what was rightfully his brother Esau’s, would be the same deception Laban would whisper into the ear of his daughter Leah to deceive Jacob on his wedding night after he had labored hard seven long years for Rachel.

Day Two: Go To That Place6.2.12Day Two had me thinking that of all of the places I have been… according to Your will or by my own foolish wisdom. I would rather be wherever You lead me… be wherever You are, and am grateful that You are willing to go wherever I have strayed to lovingly lead me home. Where You are, I want to go to that place.

Day Three: A New Name6.2.13Day Three makes me joyfully think on that new name You tell me You have written down for me in heaven… a new name that only You know and will whisper into my ear. It reminds me of when I started using my middle name as my new name… Gail. My family calls me BrendaGail. It makes me think of the many names changes in Your word… Abram to Abraham, Sarai to Sarah, Noah to Noe, Saul to Paul, and of course Jacob to Israel. It also reminds me of the sad news of Rachel’s death. It was sad to know how her life had been. Never happy… always living her life in comparison.

Day Four: Party of 126.2.14Day four has me thinking on all of those children born out of manipulation and deception. Yet even in the midst of a dysfunctional family, You created the twelve tribes of Israel, and the lineage from which Jesus was born. It reminds me of when I once felt “barren,” and for years was constantly provoked by all the other girls who had babies, some three or four. They were very cruel. Yet just like Hannah, it was when I made a particular petition and vow that You answered my prayer. And that was before I had read Your bible, and I was a single teenage mom. I don’t know why You allowed things that seem contrary to Your word. I only know that You give life, Lord. Praise Your name!

Day Five: Spiritual Gifts Survey6.2.15Day five had a survey to discern our spiritual gifts. I was began with making sure I only answered between 2 and 4, but was soon all over the place. I leave the results to You because just as we are trusting the outcome to You, we know that You have allowed us to answer the questions that made the score. So as our thinking is (flawed or right on), it will determine what we score.

I have so many blogging friends who have enjoyed the “quizzes” for themselves. Lord, help them to be able to read the pictures. I know in times past, I would have went through the hard work (with joy) to type it out in a neat format aligning the book, but You and I both know I am blessed that the media devices finally charged and worked!
Thank You! 🙂

Dear friends, if you can not read one just let me know. I will type it for you.
There are 80 questions, and score as read above in the previous picture.6.2.16

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Scoring Your Survey
Here are the directions.
There are 16 areas of spiritual gifts listed.
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Graphing Your Profile6.2.24

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My spiritual gifts scored
1. Giving
2. Faith
3. Prophecy

This surprised me considering when I read the sixteen possibilities, I only “had faith” in Faith. The others seemed like actions… involving others. I do not know why my self esteem has went so far to the basement lately, but I know God doesn’t want it there. How can I love my neighbor as God does if I cannot even love myself as my God loves me
(And the second [commandment] is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
– Matthew 22:39 KJV
)
I am to believe in who He makes me.
I am a child of the Living King… the One True God!
I can do ALL things through Christ Jesus, which strengtheneth me. (Philippians 4:13 KJV)
How much more giving can one be than to share God’s love… genuine true love?

So then the question was asked…
How has God been speaking to you throughout this study about the situations where you are comparing yourself? How does humility play a role in what God is showing you?6.2.26My health is what it is. He has blessed me many days, and with encouraging and wise, and very patient therapists, nurses, doctors. I need to be thankful, and accept where I am is what God has planned for me… at least right now. Regardless of where that is and what it looks like or feels like, or lives like, I am to love who I am in Him, and to share that love with others. God has known my life long before I did, and as The Great Physician He has every right to do whatever He wants with it to bring glory to His name. Even in and ESPECIALLY in my weaknesses He is made strong.
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9 KJV

In that giving to others… PRAYER is ONE of the most loving things we can give and do. I am blessed to have the prayer requests below to take with me. I pray as often as the Lord allows. This week we had prayed in our small groups, but kept our own prayer cards. Marilyn was excited to share a praise that her friend Etiska did not have cancer after all!! Such good news among what seems like a sea of cancer anymore. We were excited to share in her news, especially after praying with her.6.2.27This is what one of my dear sisters in Christ reminded me… because I am sharing with them in prayer my burdens, they will be able to rejoice with me in what I so easily think is trivial to others but is every bit huge to me and my health.

Just as they rejoiced with me over hearing my stepdad’s complete lung work up and blood work came back good while they have been helping me pray as the doctors work to find the cause of Bobby’s already terrible lung health to be even worse lately. His lung specialist still thinks it’s Bobby’s CPAP issues. So the ladies continue to help me to pray for him. 

And when he sent messages to “thank the girls” and let them know he is praying for them too, the ladies would send the same messages back to him.

As for my health… my lymphedema and lipedema are flaring up the most… along with the things my doctors are already trying to help me with. Sometimes there are great and effective treatments for one health issue but is either hindered by another,  or actually causes more problems that actually render the original problem tolerable. Sometimes I simply have to deal with both. I am trying to use the wraps as much as possible, but my spinal damage is making things so challenging. My positive is to know at least this time I have had a lot of help in my physical therapists whereas last time, I had no help so it was the bandages right off.6.2.10

On top of that prayer need, I have received a Jury Duty Summons6.2.9

I do not know how my Jury Duty Summons will play into the wraps and needing to elevate my legs, but I know that God is well aware of my needs, and am blessed to have friends who will pray with me.

I miss the ladies bible study!
I don’t know if I’ll be able to attend when Nicki comes to Keitha’s church.
But I know who holds tomorrow, and I know He watches me… and them. 😉

 

 

Glory In The Minefield

Lord, It’s so strange… walking around in this minefield… exploring so many old tripwires. These places have long been deserted. Intentionally so. I have never been more grateful to be away from them. I use to be so afraid of looking back. Of even thinking about them. I was so afraid it would take me back and re-imprison me. I can remember thinking it was never going to stop. That things were never going to change.

These poems are reminders of times, people, places, events that were so evil. I have long been horrified to reread them. Even though I wrote them… lived them… witnessed them. The only reason I even dare to go near them is to follow You in putting them into digital storage and on the poetry blog (gaillovegodspoetry). So many times I wanted to tear many of them up.

Even now they can be hard to type and click that publish button.

They’re so personal. So evil. So dark.

They scare me even now.

Yet as I have been following You, I am completely taken by the responses. Especially from those who say they are either going through those things now, or are trying to deal with the fact of their own similar events, but to see things from a lens of bringing them to You, talking them out with You, and allowing Your Spirit to lead me in writing anything new with them, is moving them… touching them…. helping them.

They are seeing YOU instead of the evil.
How You amaze me! ❤

We have only begun to approach this dark and evil time. We are literally on the outskirts of what seems like land mines, grenades, tripwires, explosives, and so many unpredictable triggers. As we walk through 1989 alone, I have seen so many that make me cringe just to see their titles.

But this is…. a journey… a life… a testimony… that You allowed…

and continue to magnify Your Holy name through what You have done in my heart alone. And when You allow ME to see the changes, and allow the poems to help me see the freedom from them, instead of the fear and shame that the enemy wants me to live with, You allow the love that You are in my life to be a love that I never want to let go of. I am so grateful that You are a love that never wants to let go of me! If any of the words You have given me, even through such an evil adventure, can bring one other soul out of their darkness, or shine Your light of love where the enemy chains their soul… it is very worth it all.

Freedom from a mental torture takes every bit of strength that we just don’t have alone.

That is why I am so in love with YOUR Word! ❤

“My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9 AKJV

May You receive all of the glory that YOU planned before I was even born!

“Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee…” – Jeremiah 1:3 AKJV