Glory In The Minefield

Lord, It’s so strange… walking around in this minefield… exploring so many old tripwires. These places have long been deserted. Intentionally so. I have never been more grateful to be away from them. I use to be so afraid of looking back. Of even thinking about them. I was so afraid it would take me back and re-imprison me. I can remember thinking it was never going to stop. That things were never going to change.

These poems are reminders of times, people, places, events that were so evil. I have long been horrified to reread them. Even though I wrote them… lived them… witnessed them. The only reason I even dare to go near them is to follow You in putting them into digital storage and on the poetry blog (gaillovegodspoetry). So many times I wanted to tear many of them up.

Even now they can be hard to type and click that publish button.

They’re so personal. So evil. So dark.

They scare me even now.

Yet as I have been following You, I am completely taken by the responses. Especially from those who say they are either going through those things now, or are trying to deal with the fact of their own similar events, but to see things from a lens of bringing them to You, talking them out with You, and allowing Your Spirit to lead me in writing anything new with them, is moving them… touching them…. helping them.

They are seeing YOU instead of the evil.
How You amaze me! ❤

We have only begun to approach this dark and evil time. We are literally on the outskirts of what seems like land mines, grenades, tripwires, explosives, and so many unpredictable triggers. As we walk through 1989 alone, I have seen so many that make me cringe just to see their titles.

But this is…. a journey… a life… a testimony… that You allowed…

and continue to magnify Your Holy name through what You have done in my heart alone. And when You allow ME to see the changes, and allow the poems to help me see the freedom from them, instead of the fear and shame that the enemy wants me to live with, You allow the love that You are in my life to be a love that I never want to let go of. I am so grateful that You are a love that never wants to let go of me! If any of the words You have given me, even through such an evil adventure, can bring one other soul out of their darkness, or shine Your light of love where the enemy chains their soul… it is very worth it all.

Freedom from a mental torture takes every bit of strength that we just don’t have alone.

That is why I am so in love with YOUR Word! ❤

“My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” – 2 Corinthians 12:9 AKJV

May You receive all of the glory that YOU planned before I was even born!

“Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee…” – Jeremiah 1:3 AKJV

 

Drowning of a Writer

I use to subtitle this Ode to Suicide… actually the original title itself was Ode to Suicide, but I made it a subtitle so no one would worry or try to take it from me. Now, I don’t think it is wise to have such a title because suicide itself is not beautiful.

gaillovesgodspoetry

Bubbles… accelerating to the surface. Pleading for my forgiveness, for my survival, my rescue. “HELP!” I’m crying from within the depth of the ocean. I’m losing my life. My will to fight is being taken from me. The strength of the almighty sea is too much for me. My body grows weak. I’m feeling numb. Every inch of my muscles are aching! Yet… all I can think about is fighting for my life. If only I had a little hero, or maybe a little support. If only I weren’t in so deep, but I’m in way over my head. As I struggle with every breath I have left in my body, I sink further and further, into my burial grounds. My new dwelling place, where my bones shall rot into tiny pieces of exhausted life. Soon, I will have nothing left. No warmth of loving. No tears of enjoyment… no…

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