❤ Oh heart are you trying to tell me something?
are you shouting at me? ❤
❤ Oh heart are you trying to tell me something?
are you shouting at me? ❤
Proverbs, Chapter 23 (Click here to read for better understanding of the connection between the scripture and the notes they inspired below.)
Lord, good morning. It is nice to sit and spend some time with You. It always feels like a safe place that I so desperately don’t want to leave because it feels like I am leaving You. It makes me fear so greatly that I will sin, and I want more than anything to never be able to sin against You! To never hurt You! Grieve You! Insult You! I hate disappointing You. I know You still love me no matter what, but I want so desperately to be perfect for You.
My hope is that I will be made perfect in heaven, never to sin again, never focused on earthly and selfish things. I will spend the rest of my days praising You! How beautiful heaven must be. The angels beckon me from heaven’s open door, and I can’t feel at home (on earth) anymore. This world has lost its grip on me.
Proverbs 23 begins talking about food, and being diligent in our faith, not letting our appetites have the best of us. You literally tell us to put a knife to our throats if we’re given to the temptations of the king that represents the world of idolatry, serving other gods through feats and foods. It’s like when You told us not to let our belly be our god.
You tell us not to labor to be rich, that riches can fly away. We are to avoid eating with the man who is focused on his riches. They can deceive and mislead our heart. As our heart thinketh, so we are. Those things will make us sick, and rob us of our sweet words of wisdom.
We are not to remove the ancient landmarks, nor take the lands from orphans, for You are their mighty redeemer and plead their cause. We need to apply our hearts unto instruction, and our ears to words of knowledge.
We are to correct our children. They need the discipline to keep them from jail and hell. Wise children cause us to rejoice. We are not to envy sinners, but instead to fear You for the sinners will have an end. We need to hear Your wisdom, and let You guide our hearts.
We are not to have anything to do with winebibbers (alcohol), nor riotous eaters. Violence is never a good thing. And being a drunk or glutton will just cause us to starve and not have what we need to get clothes. We are to hearken to our fathers and not despise our mothers. We are to value truth, wisdom, instruction and understanding. Wise children are a joy.
You warn of the whore and the strange woman.
Wine distorts our view, perverts our words, and leaves us clueless to our surroundings and our circumstances. Yet we awaken, we’ll get sick, and do it all over again. Help us to follow Your wisdom.
Proverbs, Chapter 22 (Click here to read for better understanding of the connection between the scripture and the notes they inspired below.)
Lord, Thank You for the early morning study hours with You, and that extra little bit of rest. It was so needed, and felt so sweet and peaceful coming right behind reading Your word. You make everything sweet, and You ARE peace. I love that about You.
Proverbs 22 starts off telling me that a good name and loving favor are more valuable than great riches, and silver and gold. You are the maker of all the rich and poor alike. It is prudent to hide from any foreseeable evil, otherwise I will be punished. Humility and fear of You bring riches, honor, and life.
Froward people are traps and thorns (which sounds painful). I am to keep my soul far from them.
Verse 6, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it,” has been a command and a promise that I have lived by since I was a young unwed teen mom of a precious little boy. How I knew that scripture when I really didn’t know the bible for myself, only what I had heard here and there through the years amazes me. But You assured my troubled spirit that what I had seen of other Christians’ children growing to hate You, that if I did my part (which was the command I was to obey) that You would take care of the rest because You would take care of him, regardless of the years or times he would learn from his mistakes. He would always be Yours wherever he was/is.
Borrowing makes us servants to the lender. A bountiful eye is a good thing because it causes us to share food with the poor. Getting rid of a scorner brings peace. To love pureness of heart brings grace and good friendships. Your eyes, LORD, bring knowledge. Laziness can make us fear, paranoid, and dread.
It is not a good thing to be abhorred (hated) of You, God. Foolishness brings the need for correction. It is wise to be good to the poor, and to be wise with our monies. Help me to always bow my ears to Your wise words, and to apply my heart unto Your knowledge. They are pleasant to keep within me. They will be fitted in my lips (praise Your Holy name).
Thank You for making this known to me that my trust may be in You. Thank You for the excellent things You have written to me on counsels and knowledge, that I might know the CERTAINTY of the words of Your truth, and that I might answer with Your words of truth to those You send my way.
It is not wise to rob the poor or the oppress them. You will plead their cause, and do to us what we did to them. It is not wise to be friends with the angry person, nor wise to hang with them. We will learn their ways and become a danger to ourselves. We are not to get involved in debt or being collateral. We could lose everything, even the bed we sleep in.
I am not to remove the ancient landmarks which You have set through our fathers. That’s important to You, so it is important to me. I am to be diligent in my business.
A God who loves me,
Despite how I can be.
Who gave me wisdom
To help me see.
Who sent instruction
To rescue me.
To save me from lies
That only deceive.
A God who loves me,
Despite my lack.
He’s willing to give
So I can give back.
He knows my nature,
And still He gives.
He tasted of death
So that I could live.
A God who loves me,
And lets me love Him back.
How grateful I am
For that fact.
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: Proverbs 10 of my Proverbs Journal
Wisdom, you are my sister.
God has said we’re family.
I am to trust your words.
I am to trust your whispers.
I am to heed your shoutings.
I am to seek and trust you.
You are my kinswoman.
I am to follow your lead.
I am to trust you to keep me.
I am to accept you as family.
Because in God’s eyes
You are! ❤
Oh how I need you,
To keep me from flattery,
To keep me from self destruction,
To keep me from falling into a snare,
Bound for hell.
Lord, I seek. I call on.
And I trust through your faith
In wisdom, understanding.
We are all one family.
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: Proverbs 7 in my Proverbs journal.
Surety, you are no friend.
You know my God does not want
Me to entertain you.
You know He warns against you.
You know you’re putting chains on me
If I were to give thought to you,
Or speak on your behalf.
No one can speak for you.
Only God can say,
“Have nothing to do with her.
Plead release from her,
But if she insists the debt be paid,
BE DONE WITH HER!
THEN LEAVE HER ALONE!”
Jealousy is your friend.
She tries to flatter me.
She tries to convince me that
“He” is worth it too.
After all, a woman’s jealousy is
So much well known that she is
Referred for “her fury.”
No Surety. No Adultery. No Jealousy.
Only God! Only His wisdom!
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: Proverbs 6 in my Proverbs Journal
Good morning, Lord! It’s really the middle of the night as far as I’m, concerned, but technically… officially… it is 2:45 in the early morning. So it is morning.
I just needed to come talk to You. To sit with You. To lay in Your arms. to lean on You.. with my head on Your shoulder and my heart in Your hands.
So much has happened in this last week. It’s left me completely mindful this week as well. There is so much I need to note… for You.. for me… for my sanity. It doesn’t help that so much is going on in the world too… around us and across from us. No wonder so many are checking out. It’s not fair to You.
So many words, emotions, judgments, threats, temptations, fears, and so much more are being thrown at us. It’s hard to find someone to lean on, to talk to, to confide it, to counsel with… because we’re all going through this… even the strongest of us… so we need to be mindful of one another…
“The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing.”
– Zephaniah 3:17 KJV
to hold our tongue and all on the wrong to be done to us… so that we don’t lay our burdens on top of someone’s already heavy load. With so many losing their battle under the weight of their own burdens, it’s a very difficult time. Stress can be a pretty fierce opponent.
Praise You for being strong enough for all of us. Nothing is an opponent to You. Thank You for being mighty… Almighty! Thank You for being ever present, for being True and Faithful… Sure and Steady… Strong and Upright. Thank You for being You.
I miss writing to You, God. It’s been a couple of months since I wrote some poetry, but it feels like forever. It feels like I need to exhale so badly. What is it that I need to get out, especially when You are having me be as discreet as possible with my words. Even my thoughts are going through Your filter. What
“For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth:”
– Job 19:25 KJV
is it? Is it as important as it feels? Or is it just my mind trying to run away with me? What is it You are trying to say to me during these uncertain times? That You are the only thing that is uncertain? I know that You are! ❤
The Paper Waits to Relay
Words, thoughts, chasing shadows.
Things heavy on my mind.
There are no answers for the questions.
The days are left behind.
The pen runs with the ink.
The paper waits to relay.
Do the words have Your permission?
What are they allowed to say?
Weary, scared, confused,
The world wonders what to do.
The pen needs to write the message,
God loves you!
written by Gail Brookshire
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
– Matthew 11:28 KJV
PS… Lord, I LOVE how Your verses always address exactly what I am talking to You about, but from Your wisdom of what I need. You are so personal! ❤
You and I have been friends
Many times over.
I thank God for being our
He is wise to tell me to choose.
He tells me to choose you
Is to choose wisdom.
Thank you for being
A faithful companion.
Thank you for helping me
Keep my mind on Him.
Thank you for helping
To escape my folly.
Thank you for clarifying
What I can and cannot trust.
Thank you for not wanting
To make a mockery of me,
For not shaming me in my own guilt,
As I so rightly deserve.
Thank you for preserving me for Him.
Thank you for teaching me
Thank you for helping me to honor
our Mutual Friend.
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: Proverbs 5
Wisdom, let’s pursue one another.
I need your instruction,
And you need my obedience.
I need your knowledge,
And you need my heart.
I need your understanding,
And you need me to attend you.
I need you to establish me,
And you need me to exalt you.
I need you to preserve me,
And you need me to keep you.
I need you to lead my paths.
You need me to keep looking straight ahead.
I need your grace and your glory.
You need me to honor God’s word.
His promises mean so much to me,
And you mean so much to Him.
He tells me so much about you,
And promises so much value.
Help me to receive the good
In trusting His word.
Help me to honor HIm
In trusting you.
Wisdom, knowledge, understanding,
Let’s pursue one another.
Written by Gail Brookshire
Inspiration: Proverbs 4
Dear Lord, how interesting and exciting. This tag (The Thirteenth Disciple Tag) that Charity (aka Purple Rose) of Confessions And Thoughts Of A Reluctant Preacher’s Daughter created and nominated me for The Thirteenth Disciple Tag on 7.27.2020, a tag that she created. Thank you for having my dear sister think of me. Please forgive me for taking so long to get this done, and please let Charity know how grateful and excited I really was regardless of what they dates say. When I first read Charity’s tag, it made me smile and think of my mom. Whenever people would try to say the number 13 was bad luck, taboo, or evil, my mom would remind them that the 12 disciples plus Jesus made 13. ❤
Then you had my dear brother Stu of Something to Stu Over also nominate me for The Thirteenth Disciple Tag on 8.15.2020. Again I have taken so long. Please let Stu know how grateful I am for him as well. Bless them both and encourage them, Lord. Normally I would do the tags separate, but because I have taken so long I will do them together.
Thank you, Charity, for thinking of me. You created such an awesome tag! I loved the idea of hanging with Jesus!
Here Are The Rules:
Here are the 13 questions:
1. Which disciple is your favorite?
John… the one who was noted for loving Jesus so, and who wrote the book of John that is absolutely Love, Love, Love. It even has the REAL Lord’s prayer where Jesus is praying to the Father on our behalf in chapter 17! ❤
2. How often do you pray The Lord’s Prayer?
Funny that this is the question just after I was thinking on it. 🙂 I pray as often as the Lord allows. There was a time I prayed it every day before I started my day, and every night before I went to bed as I felt the Lord asking me with compelling compassion, “Do you not think the words my Son gave you would be enough for everything?”
I had been praying for “the right” thing to pray. So I committed to using it to pray for ALL my needs in those only 2 prayers of the day, allowing anytime I felt I should be praying more to God’s trust. It is amazing how He opened my eyes and my mind to those words covering every single thing we need prayer for. And why wouldn’t they? Would Jesus leave us unprepared or ill equipped??
NO! OF COURSE NOT!
3. How often do you take communion?
It depends. If I attend my stepdad’s church, they do it every Sunday at the end of service. If I am at my church, I believe it’s quarterly (every 3 months). But since COVID arrived, I have not been back to church physically, and won’t be for sometime. They did one for Easter online, and that was the last time I did.
4. Do you listen to sermons during the week?
Absolutely! As much as God will allow! I would rather listen to sermons than watch TV or movies.
5. If Jesus asked you to have your own small group of 4, which 3 disciples or Bible Characters would you choose to be in your weekly prayer group?
John the Baptist, Samuel, amd Enoch
6. Why did you choose those 3?
They were all three devoted and obedient from the beginning to the end. I want to be with people who love Jesus and His Father no matter the cost, and whose every thought is dying to self. Enoch was even spared of dying. One minute he was here, and then “he was not.” 😉
“and Enoch walked with God: and he was not; for God took him.”
– Genesis 5:23 KJV
7. What Bible characters do you relate to or understand the most?
I don’t know that I would claim to fully understand any of the Bible characters, but I relate to characters like Hannah, Hagar, Tamar (both David’s daughter and Judah’s daughter-in-law), Leah, and Mary. Hannah and Mary are the two I relate to most often.
I, too, prayed for a child to give back to the Lord, like Hannah did for so long. I didn’t know my Bible yet then or my son Anthoni would have been named Samuel. When I did have him, I was a single mom like Mary (yes I know their engagement was the same as being married, but technically she was on her own until the angel told Joseph to marry her).
“Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost… the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.”
When I think of the responsibility I felt from the beginning to raise a child given from God, especially when Anthoni began to be a little preacher, it was a very important concern for me every day…. and still is with him grown. How much heavier must that concern have been to be raising the Son of the Living God! ❤
8. Which disciple would you argue with the most?
Judas or Peter for always wanting to argue with Jesus!
9. Which disciple would you get along with the best?
I would love to hang with John or Nathanael. John loved Jesus so, and Nathanael believed Jesus was the Son of God and the King of Israel from the beginning just because Jesus knew who he was. Jesus said there was no guile in him.
10. If you were in the painting of the Last Supper, where would you be sitting?
Definitely John because he was leaning on Jesus! He loved Jesus! ❤
11. Peter carried a sword and cut off a soldier’s ear in an attempt to protect Jesus. If you were there that night, what would your reaction have been to the soldiers coming to arrest Jesus?
When I first read the Bible for myself, I was so angry and ready to fight before I came upon it. I remember being so glad when Peter used his sword. So yes I probably would have, but I would have had the same astonishing rebuke that Peter got.
12. We all need a Simon Peter in our life, someone who carries a “sword” and will fight for you. Who is/was your Simon Peter?
My son Anthoni has been a Simon Peter sent from God Himself to rescue me from my world, and keep my focus on God not only in my own relationship, but also in the determination to teach Him about God’s love and teachings. God has taught me so much about His love for me through my love for my son, and in allowing me to have in common with Him being a single parent of an only Son.
13. Similar to Jesus, we all have a Judas in our lives who helps us fulfill our destiny or find our purpose. Can you look back and appreciate their role in your life despite the harm they did or the hurt they caused?
Whatever God has given me, He has given. Regardless of who, what, where, when, why, and how… it is done. He has forgiven me, so I am to forgive. I pray the Holy Spirit helps me to appreciate all things that God has allowed or designed. I thank God for seeing me through all He has walked me through.
(In honor of Jesus and the 12 disciples making 13, I will tag 13 nominees. 🙂
Hope the nominees have as much as I did!
What a joy to think of being Jesus!
We will very soon! 🙂 ❤
Good morning, my Beautiful Lord! My Loving and Personal Father! ❤
You and I began this day with crying unto You with things laying heavy on my heart, so heavy I did not even recognize them there. And while they could have been offensive and insulting, You were so tender to send me strong and clear messages of Love, Presence, Prayer, and You!
As I was praying to You about some honest emotions I had going on… anger towards those who are hurting other human beings in Human Trafficking, Domestic Violence, Sexual Assaults, and just pure evil… especially on children… I was broken. I was honest with You about the anger that I felt. Anger that brought me to tears. Anger and a broken heart that burdened me so heavily. Feeling so hopeless in not being able to stop it. Knowing it was only in Your power to do so. Yet remembering the free will You give us each.
In those moments, Satan was trying to fill me with unjust accusations toward You, and how little You seemed to care… about what is happening to the children, and the little girl I was at 3 years old. I knew He was wrong. I even told You so. But the words I have heard the world say so often kept trying to accuse You too. While I could not answer those questions of why, nor pretend to have the answers for something ONLY You will ever know, the anger and the pain that kept going back and forth eventually revealed to me that some of that pain was my own brokenness that seemed so long ago.
Feeling that pain kept Satan trying to accuse You, and caused that little girl’s memory of the pain and confusion to feel like we were still in the middle of it all. Sometimes that question the world throws at us about You caring, and where were You when we needed You can be pretty persuasive when that father of lies (Satan) causes such a heaviness from the cloudy visions of long ago. The distance of those years can make them feel like centuries ago, but the pain too easily brings shame, confusion, and sense of not mattering enough to allow any emotion. Emotion just annoys me. What good would it do? Nobody can do anything about it. And before I can get those next words out of my mind (Who cares?), Satan chimes in again with, “Yeah, who cares? We know He doesn’t.”
But I state to Him and You both that I know You do. I can’t explain why things are allowed to happen, but I know You are good, and You care! I even hear You say to me, “I care.” I know You do. But as soon as I even start to think of feeling any peace, my heart is broken for those who are not old enough to look back… with the freedom to be out of their situations… who will die in their environment, thrown away like trash, no one ever knowing, or caring. I cry so hard.
“Lord, I hurt so much for them! I can’t help them. No one has the power to do anything to put a stop to all of it but You. No one cares about them. Some of them have been snatched so young that no one knows who they are and what happened to them. No one ever will! It’s so horrible! So sad! No one cares! I know You do, but why does another human being ever want to do such things! I know the psychological answers the world gives, but it’s not enough! People shouldn’t be able to find sexual pleasure from doing horrible things to another human being… especially children!! It breaks my heart!”
I keep crying… hard. When I cry that hard I can feel it… that emotion from that little girl inside of me that I deprive of that emotion because it feels so pointless, and I don’t recall feeling it then. I was too numb to feel anything in life. But I hear You telling me… “It’s not pointless. Be honest… with Me… and with Yourself. Your pain matters to Me too! Even when You convince yourself it doesn’t matter to You. It does to me.”
You bring my attention to the time. It’s after midnight. The devotional for the new day is ready on YouVersion. I take the time to go and prepare to sit with You, still finding it hard not to cry sometimes. But I am determined to show You I trust You… and believe You care!
What is the first thing I read?
Where are you hurting? Today, we’re going to learn that God brings healing and comfort. As we begin, enter into a time of silence before God.
Keep silent. That’s absolutely what I choose to do because I am also afraid to offend You, to anger You. Yes I am to be honest with You, but I am also to reverent with You, remembering that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge. I keep reading. You keep pouring out Your love!
He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.
– Psalm 147:3 KJV
I know You are in this message. I know You are wanting to focus on continuing to be honest. Trusting YOU, not the voices in my head.
In what area of your life do you need to experience God’s healing?
a) I need healing from emotional trauma.
b) I need physical healing.
c) I need spiritual renewal.
While the answer is really all 3, You I both know I ALWAYS make sure to pray for the spiritual renewal. In the last several years, I can’t get away from the need for physical healing. But You have made this clear…. it’s the trauma… and not just the physical trauma… but the emotional trauma that I can not even find value in. I need healing from emotional trauma.
Day 3: You are wanted.
(Taken from the Haven’t Seen It Yet 5 Day Devotional Series By Danny Gokey)
Wanted?? Do I feel unwanted, Lord?? I know this is You, and You are being very direct, very personal, and very detailed. Wanted?? You tell me to be patient and keep reading.
When I was writing the song “Wanted,” my co-writer was going through a difficult time. He had been praying about a specific situation that happened when he was younger. No matter how hard he prayed, he couldn’t seem to get past this incident from his childhood. He even had a bunch of friends praying for him, but he still felt the impact of the event on his life. He was praying for freedom from the past because it was holding him back from all the good things God had planned for him in the present.
Finally, one day while he was praying, God gave him a powerful picture. God took him back to the place of this traumatic event; but this time, my friend saw Jesus standing on the side of the room. Then He walked over and told my friend, “I was there the day you lost your heart, and now I’m giving it back to you.” Then Jesus handed him his heart, but it wasn’t broken, it was healed and whole.
We wrote the song “Wanted” for anyone, like my friend, who’s been wounded by circumstances beyond their control. You can be assured that the God who holds the universe in His hands is holding your heart He takes great care with it, because He wants you more than you could ever know.
The first verse of “Wanted” says, “I was there the moment it happened, but you couldn’t see Me through the pain. I caught every tear as they were falling, when you lost your heart that day.” The chorus goes on to say, “If you could see it through My eyes, you’d know that you are wanted.”
Friend, you have value in the eyes of God. No matter what you’ve been through; no matter what you’ve been told; you matter. Many times, we don’t understand His love for us because we compare the way others have loved us, and there is no comparison.
Humans are capable of wounding one another greatly. God is incapable of wounding us. He offers us a safe place to rest from the wounds of the world. Psalm 147:3 (KJV) says, “He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds.”
We have to allow God to heal our hurt in order for us to fully embrace the good and perfect plan He has for our lives.
Maybe you haven’t experienced a traumatic event in your life. Maybe, instead, you simply feel incredibly lonely today. Just know, you are not alone, you are enough, you are worthy, you are accepted, and you are wanted more than you can ever comprehend by a heavenly Father that loves you more than any human ever could.
Father, I accept Your love for me. I accept Your healing for the wounds I have carried. I release my need to understand all of the hurt, and I receive the strength that You are bringing into my life through these events. Thank You for wanting me and giving me a place to belong.
God, please come to my aid when I am hurting. Heal my wounds and restore my heart. Please come close to me and let me feel Your amazing love – today and every day. Amen.
A PRAYER OF THANKSGIVING
God, thank You for being with me even when I struggle to talk with You. When I don’t know how to put my concerns into words, thank You that the Holy Spirit is praying on my behalf. Amen.
A PRAYER FOR FACING TRIALS
God, when I face trials of any sort, help me to run to You, not away from You. Help me to see hard seasons as opportunities to grow in my faith. Give me the strength (Your strength) to persevere and the courage to always trust You. Amen.
TRUSTING GOD’S FAITHFULNESS
God, I come to You trusting that You are faithful and good. No matter what I go through, please let me never forget that You are with me. Help me hold tightly to Your unfailing love and sure promises. Amen.
DEALING WITH ANGER
God, please teach me to deal with my anger immediately, and help me not to be controlled by my anger. Please help me to release what is angering me completely to You. Amen.
LIVING A DISCIPLINED LIFE
God, help me to live a disciplined life. I want to live full of faithful and obedience. Please show me the areas I need to be even more disciplined. Amen.
Wanted! That feels like a whiny word for me. It breaks my heart to think of all those children who are unwanted by their traffickers, by their rapists, some even by their parents. But unwanted feels whiny for me because that is what I felt when my brothers and I were tricked into visiting the foster care home, only to be abandoned by our parents. Unwanted is what I felt for the 10 months we were constantly promised to be taken home only to be dropped off again at the end of each visitation. Unwanted is what I felt the day I finally had enough of broken promises, lost it in front of everyone after fighting not to be taken out of the car, cried myself to sleep, and gave up on ever believing in hope again. All hope was false hope to me.
Somehow I do feel that pain when I think of 3 years old… and all those years of violence, filth, and death. I feel it all every time I think of these children. All I can think is that no one cares. No one can do anything about it. NO ONE wants or cares about Your children outside of their own evil gain. And they just keep doing it.
You want to make it clear to me that You care… for me… for them. You want me… You want them. I belong to You! Each child belongs to You! You care about every hurt… every tear… every act that You warn the world of committing against Your children.
“Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.”
– Matthew 18:10 KJV
“Even so it is not the will of your Father which is in heaven, that one of these little ones should perish.”
– Matthew 18:14 KJV
“And whosoever shall offend one of these little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea.”
– Mark 9:42 KJV
You want me to know that You know exactly where I am, and what is going on inside. You aren’t angry with me for being honest. You aren’t disappointed with me for having emotions. And You certainly are not offended for having a broken heart for Your children. You have placed that burden on my heart. Just as I cry to think no one cares, so no one cries… You tender my heart to cry with You for Your children. And as You have me start to think on that very thought about where You have me in my journey with You, tears and all for Your little children, including the little girl who had no one crying for her, not even herself, You bring this Facebook meme to my attention while sharing the verse of the day.
FB Meme for Remembering 9/11
(That was the day planes were driven into The Twin Towers in New York, The Pentagon in Washington DC, and into the ground in Philadelphia. Thousands of people lost their lives. This meme was pointing out the many lives who were saved by the little things reported on the news that made them either run late, or not be there that particular day.
The head of a company survived 9/11 because his son started Kindergarten. Another man was alive because it was his turn to bring donuts. One woman was late because her alarm clock didn’t go off on time. Another was late, stuck on the NJ Turnpike because of an accident and his life was spared. One missed his bus. One spilled food on her clothes and had to take the time to change. One’s car wouldn’t start. One couldn’t get a taxi. One went back to answer the house phone. A man who put on a new pair of shoes that morning developed a blister before he got to the Towers, so he stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.
When you’re stuck in traffic, oversleep, miss your ride…all the little things that annoy you…maybe you’re exactly where you’re meant to be at that very moment. May all who perished on 9.11.01 Rest in Eternal Peace & may the loved ones still grieving find strength.
You want me to trust where You have me, exactly as I am. How can I trust emotions that I won’t even acknowledge? You want me to trust YOU with them. You want me to trust that You are healing me. You want me to trust that You are using me to help someone else… even if it’s just through sharing this post, or sharing a missing child alert, or sharing trafficking information with others, or counseling someone who has been hurt by letting them know You do care… You DO love them!
I then go to look up the song You have given me in the devotional…
Wanted by Danny Gokey.
I was there the moment that it happened
But you couldn’t see me through the pain
I caught every tear as they were falling
When you lost your heart that day
Yeah, you lost your heart that day
And now you only see through broken lenses
Trying to keep your head above the shame
You believe the lie that I am distant
But I hold you every day
Yeah, I hold you every day
If you could see it through my eyes
You’d know that you are wanted
You’d know that you are wanted
And if you’d let my love inside
I’ll show you that you’re wanted
I’ll show you that you’re wanted
You’re more than all your darkest moments
You are defined by what I see
You’re my reflection, you’re my treasure, you’re my heartbeat
Oh, child, you belong to me, ohh
‘Cause if you would see it through my eyes
How incredibly personal You continue to be. I feel as though I have been leaning on the shoulder of my loving Father who cares about every tear…. more than I do.
And then You add another song right behind it that is so fitting. Even the video itself feels like it represents that LOOONG road You and I have been on. I listen to You minister to me with…
Haven’t Seen It Yet, also by Danny Gokey.
Have you been praying and you still have no answers?
Have you been pouring out your heart for so many years?
Have you been hoping that things would have changed by now?
Have you cried all the faith you have through so many tears?
Don’t forget the things that He has done before
And remember He can do it all once more
And then You finish this time of loving on me with a song singing the very declaration I was determined to trust You with… I know You are Good!!
Nothing is more important to me than to keep it all about Christ! If there is anyone who understands pain… it is Your precious Son! My Jesus! ❤
I Know by Big Daddy Weave!
I know that You are good
I know that You are kind
I know that You are so much more
Than what I leave behind
I know that I am loved
I know that I am safe
‘Cause even in the fire, to live is Christ, to die is gain
I know that You are good
Thank You for spending so much time with me! Thank You for reminding me I am wanted, that my emotions matter, that my pain matters, and that my tears matter.. to You… and to me! Thank You for crying for Your children. When innocent children lost their loves, it’s horrible enough. But when no one cares, or knows about what has happened to be able to cry, it’s so much sadder… heart breaking. Thank You for crying!! Thank You for caring. Thank for the promise… the assurance that THERE WILL BE AN END TO ANY CHILD EVER BEING HURT AGAIN! And EVIL WILL PAY FOR EVERYTHING THEY HAVE EVER DONE!
Thank You for making us Yours. Thank You for giving us a place to belong. Thank You for creating LOVE to be a beautiful thing with You! Thank You that there is NO PERVERSION with You! Thank You for being You! And thank You for thinking I am worth spending the time with!
❤ I love You, Abba Father!
❤ I love You, Sweet Jesus!
❤ I love You, Holy Spirit!
“Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord; giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”
– Ephesians 5:19-21
Lord, how grateful I am to You for creating a church family! And for allowing me to be a part of one! And a part of the church family worldwide… also known as the family of God! Family in Christ! A part of YOUR family! ❤ I am so grateful to call You, Father! I am so humbled for Jesus to be my Brother! ❤
I am just as grateful that You allowed my son to grow up always knowing church family! To allow Him to grow up knowing hymns instead of rock music. Even though He heard it at home, He grew to love God’s music. Thank You for allowing Him to learn You, Your Word, and allowing me to glean from His learning. Thank You for His heart to teach His mom.
Thank You for allowing all of the fellowship, the unconditional love and support, the unexpected relationships, and a world of people who are also so in love with You too! Who never grow tired of loving You! Who delight just to think on You, Your Word, Your People, and Your hymns. Souls who do not waver from Your word because they know the value of discipline… an honest and tough love! For our good!
Thank You for all of the Vacation Bible Schools, the many memories, the children’s plays, the children I have been blessed to fellowship with in the nursery, to teach in school and the many forms of church classes, the bus rides, and the abundance of memories with children singing Your songs with such sweet sound and sweet smiles!
Thank You for the many times You have sent someone to minister to me and Anthoni, and the rest of my family. Thank You for those who have been there during loss, births, marriages, divorces, moves, tragedies, celebrations, showers, storms, and so much of life. Thank You for those You have allowed to think of me when I have had health issues. Thank You for the church body!
Thank You for the ladies bible studies, the ladies Sunday School, ladies events, ladies banquets, ladies retreats, and the countless ladies outings and friendships… sisters for life!
Thank You for men of God! Godly men! Men who genuinely love You, serve, You, Worship You, OBEY YOU, testify of You, sing of You, preach of You, and that have shared the wisdom, knowledge, and teaching with my son! Living out being a man of God for my son to learn by example.
Thank You for the missionaries and evangelists! Serving You wherever You send them. Trusting in You to provide! Thank You for the years You gave me to send cards, notes and encouragement to hundreds! I WAS THE ONE BEING BLESSED! Thank You for what they taught me about depression… the biblical truth! Thank You for their preparing me in knowing what my son would suffer and go through. Thank You for what that teaching did for ME in my own struggle with clinical depression… as a child of God.
There are not enough thank Yous when in comes to being a part of church family! But I give You the ones You have allowed to come to mind! I love You, Father God! I love Your church! And I absolutely pray church family!
I look forward to being a part of the biggest church family ever when I get to heaven! What a day that will be! ❤
Inspiration: WGWM Study Notes, Week 2 Day 5
“And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.”
– Colossians 3:23 KJV
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.”
– Ephesians 2:10 KJV
Good early morning, Lord. Today’s study notes hit right where we all are… dealing with community… and TRYING to love one another. How could I not think on this whole COVID-19 Pandemic? There are so many suffering, so many who have lost their lives, and many of them died fighting on the front lines to save those stricken with COVID. It makes me think on my dear friend Nitin of Daily Bible Bytes for You who is a doctor in India, and had his long time doctor friend and mentor come down with the virus. Then had another friend who lost his mother one day and then his father a few days later. Both parents in the same week! I read that the same day I saw a local news report of 2 teenage boys losing both of their parents. Just yesterday Nitin was sharing about another doctor from the front lines passing away from the virus. 😦
There are so many in my own community in my county, the city, and the state. If I were to try to name all of the friends and family who have lost someone or come down with it, this would be a very long post. And that would not even represent the ones who have passed, yet the families will not tell the public it was COVID. There is actually a stigma for some people, as if this disease was something to be ashamed of contracting. Hundreds of thousands around the world have died from this disease. Millions have contracted it. How does one attach shame to such a ruthless and invisible killer? We had a cousin in our family who died from it, but we did not know for a month because the family not only wanted to keep people from gathering for a funeral (understandably so), but they were actually ashamed to let anyone know it was COVID.
And then there is this whole mask debate, the unbelievable accusations of this being a hoax, the argument of a constitutional right, and quite frankly just a pent up world looking for an excuse to blame someone for the fact that they can’t do everything they want, when they want it, and the way they want it. A world who is upset that their world changed over night and will more than likely never be the same. A world where they could not even escape with sports, Hollywood, immorality, favorite snacks and comfort foods, no dining out, nor getaways for quite some time. So many special once in a lifetime events were postponed or cancelled altogether. This is what comes to mind when I think of community right now. But praise Your Holy name that is not all I think of.
WordPress Community! I thank You for allowing me to know, have, and be a part of this community You have blessed with encouraging one another. That includes being honest about our own experiences with COVID, along with the raw emotions everyone is feeling. I am especially grateful for those who are still trying to keep it all about You, even in their experiences, and bringing those raw emotions to You openly in their blogs, and being sure to look for those sought out and needed answers in Your scriptures.
Even the ones who wrote this little devotional book (Woman of God, Wonderfully Made) way back in 2012 (that I am noting from now in 2020) wrote on being made to love our community regardless of our disagreements or circumstances from a very beautiful Godly heart.
“You may not always love your neighbors, but God does. You may consider some people in your community to be unworthy of your time and effort, but God doesn’t. God loves each person in your community no matter his or her faults, weaknesses, or sins. The question isn’t ‘Who deserves my acts of service?’ but rather ‘Who needs my acts of service?’
In Christ Jesus, you can serve your community without considering its worthiness. In Christ Jesus, you can love your inconsiderate neighbor. In Christ Jesus, you can display God’s love to the hurting world. When you serve others, you serve God. When you love others, you live our your love for God. It all comes from Him, because of Him, for Him!”
Thank you for Christian Community… fellow believers who are determined to keep it all about You, to keep their faith in You, and to still be absolutely convinced even now that YOU ARE GOOD! We may not understand everything going on. We may be lost in a very dense fog. We may be angry, hurt, and devastated with loss and circumstances that no one could have imagined happening. In ALL things, You are STILL A GOOD AND LOVING FATHER AND GOD! Thank You for Community, God! We need You, and we need each other! ❤
Inspiration: WGWM Study Notes, Week 2 Day 4
“Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
– Colossians 3:12-13 KJV
“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”
– Romans 5:8 KJV
Lord, boy did I mess up on this bible study. Even back when I was doing it and making notes, and did it know it. Or if I did, I completely forgot and messed up again. I think You finally let me see how. The titles in the book for each day were messed up. I mean I am sure the person prayed for guidance and You led her to write it just the way it was. I did see the playfulness in the wording and how it related, but I do believe it is what messed me up so much that I accidentally started doing the same thing in getting it on the blog.
This one came from a day called Remade To Love In My Family, but there was never a MADE to Love In My Family. So when the titles that did a RE-whatever the title was before HAD a title before, I guess I assumed this one did too. As I look the next several days had a RE to a title that was NOT before. So if You don’t mind I’ll just keep going with personally made titles as You had me doing to try to prevent the confusion.
I’m sorry, Lord, for not doing a better job of paying attention. I try. I really do, and I know You know that. When I did this study, I was telling a friend of mine who knew I was doing it that I had no notes to share because I had not been really noting enough to share any with them or on the blog. As I would later look in my little notebook, You pointed out that I had what You were giving me and that was enough. When I started to pick back up where I left off I did not notice 6 days worth of noting missing. Again when typing them up, I did not notice either. It was being done with a 5 week study in 2 weeks that was throwing the huge red flag. Maybe that is why it felt so short when doing them?? Anyway, I deleted the last 2 I had up, along with the 4 You allowed me to get scheduled, and just took the big TIME OUT You were blowing the whistle on.
It took me the whole week to get a chance to look over just what was going on. Now I see, I DID do the study, but got very confused over the titles, stopped noting, then thought I wasn’t really getting anything to share, and was just enjoying it between You and me. However, later on I realized I had more notes than I thought, it was the book that was confusing. It still is, but with Your help I can still try to get it back on track. That means this one and the 5 to follow will actually be blogged as I am reading them. Being as so many messages You have sent me this week have been clearly dealing with being lost, it seems quite appropriate. Even Sue Mulhare of New Hope Church in Toowoomba, Australia had a message this week…
that fit right in, and actually gave me a little bit of an answer to that nagging question You and I know I deal with. Wouldn’t You know it (and of course You would 😉 ) it’s the same answer You’ve always given me. I loved the song Sue mentioned she stumbled across.
was another perfectly related piece to the puzzle.
Those favorite lyrics of Sue’s were powerful.
When I thought I lost me
You knew where I left me
You reintroduced me to Your love
You picked up all my pieces
Put me back together
You are the defender of my heart
And how did all of this tie into today’s study and title of being Made to Love My Family? Because that is exactly what I did with my week. You led and I followed. The majority of the week was about Bobby (my 86 yr old stepdad) and his home health care team. All of our family worked together to get through this week when we also had a family crisis happen that we knew nothing about with my brother in law Tim cracking 4 ribs and having an infection. We ran the needed medical errands for Tim because Nathan (my brother who is Tim’s nurse) could not leave him because Tim was a fall risk. It’s what led to the ribs. Tim is a hospice patient dealing with a lot. My sister Sandra was doing these errands with me while wearing her bedroom slippers inside oversized shoes from the Goodwill in a search for shoes that she could get into. Her old shoes came apart. So many stores! For several days! Thank You for allowing the temporary ones You led her to. I pray the ones coming will be the shoes we have both been saying You have waiting for her! My son Anthoni stayed with Bobby one day so the home health care team could talk to him. He does a great job helping us look out for Bobby.
Bobby’s home health care team have been diligently looking out for him. They were sent by his doctor who has not seen him in several months and understands we’re trying to keep him home away from others, especially with both of his lungs already damaged, living with COPD, using a CPAP machine, and a nebulizer machine several times a day, and still struggles with his breathing. Bobby has to do needed bloodwork for the medicine he takes since he had his stroke in 2015, and to see how he is doing over all. Just day before yesterday, we were all in a circle (with masks and gloves) praying with his nurse because she had spent the whole day traveling around to different patients, was now seeing Bobby, all while her own husband and father both had been sick enough during the week that they were believed to have COVID. Praise the Lord they tested negative! But Stephanie had still came to work to look out for others!
So that is how family relates to this week. That time out was needed to focus. You still had me to post… by sending me awards! Anabel of Lebana’s Journey nominated me for The Ideal Inspiration Award, and Stu of Something to Stu Over nominated me for The Outstanding Blogger Award. My WordPress Family sent me so many encouraging messages. That’s how You work! You tell us to be still and know You are God… and You did just that. I took that break and You showered me with encouragement. And along the way allowed me to share that encouragement with the nominees! What do You do when voices of doubt whisper in my ear? You send Sue that message to encourage her! Sue shares it and encourages me! The song is a tender hug that assures You know my heart’s cry and are fighting for me where I don’t even know I have a war going on… a spiritual warfare. Your leading becomes my victory! Because YOU are my victory every single day!
Thank You for leading me through my wilderness. Thank You for leading our family! Thank You for protecting Stephanie’s family! Thank You for being the chain of encouragement for my WordPress family! Thank You for leading Sue all the way over in Australia, and then sharing a glimpse of that precious time You had with her. Thank You for the powerful message in that tender song. Thank You for helping me get this Bible study thing worked out. And thank You most of all for still being the God of Psalm 46:10.
“Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.”
Inspiration: WGWM Study Notes, Week 2 Day 3