Convalesce

Lord, I need Your help in getting a note typed up for my dear friends who are so kind to check in on me, even sending loving comments.  I keep trying to get a chance to write about things as they happen, but I am STILL struggling with feeling so easily wiped.

Convalesce… that was the word You gave me when I got to sick back in November.  I was sick the whole month. I was wiped… and still am. Thank You for healing me from the sinus infection. I know You will help me to continue to heal.

Webster says Convalesce is to heal and grow strong. I clearly hear You telling to come away and convalesce with You by resting in trusting You… and growing strong in Your word.. in Your strength… in You!

This most recent doctor visit with my podiatrist was not encouraging. There was the good news of no break (Praise Your Holy Name!), but she says that the stress is trying to cause enough pressure on my bones to cause a fracture, and the neuroma I’ve had since 1992 is being effected, but she says that it’s my back causing the problems. Because of that she says she cannot treat my foot because it may injure my back worse.

It is so challenging, Lord! I am supposed to be elevating my legs as much as possible to relieve the lymphedema and lipedema by getting the fluid off, yet I cannot elevate my legs as I should because my back will not tolerate my laying back like that for more than 15 or 20 minutes without severe pain, or causing me  not to be able to lift my legs. I have to drag them to get up. MY physical therapists have long wanted to help me with different exercises and treatments that I am unable to do because of this. The weight from the fluid on my legs make it heavier and harder on my back. And from sitting so much, I struggle to keep good circulation and other problems. I feel defeated.

I am blessed that You give me so many loving friends. I am touched more than they know by each word. I long to get opportunities to respond back, to thank, and to read how things are going with them, and encourage for them as I pray. Even as I type this, I am struggling to stay awake. So please let them know only the way YOU can, how much they mean to me! And that I am praying for them!.

**Thank you to each one of you who have been so kind to leave encouraging messages, smiles, and the posts you may not know I do read. Sometimes I get a LIKE on it before I lose it or fall asleep. Sometimes I don’t. Regardless, I am praying for each one of you! Each One!! Me and God love you!!! ❤ **

PS… God allowed me to write a small poem Convalesce In His Rest.
This is the message He has given me for now, and the coming year. This is the word.. the command… the whisper He has made so clear. I need to come away with Him and rest… physically, spiritually, mentally, psychology, and every way possible! I AM WIPED!
But By His grace, in His strength, and according to His will and perfect timing I will grow stronger.

Thank you for every one who has prayed, and continues to!
They make the difference!

Thank You, Jesus, for Your faithful presence, healing touch, spring of hope,
and Your wonderful matchless grace!

Such A Gift

Christ is such a GIFT! He was given and given so much on our behalf. What a gift to know Him, love Him, and serve Him. I pray that you are able to accept and enjoy your gift in Him too! ❤
God is such a GIFT! He has been generous with us from the moment He gave us life. Without Him, nothing and no one would be. The most precious thing He ever gave me… was His Son! He gave Him for you too! God loves you! ❤
The Holy Ghost is such a GIFT! He gives me guidance, comfort, and peace that passeth all understanding! The most beautiful comfort He ever gave anyone was to my Savior as He hung on the cross for me and you. He is more than willing to give you the peace and comfort you seek! The Holy Ghost loves you! ❤

GIFTS of the King

Life is such a GIFT,
and Lord allowed today’s gift to be a very blessed one!
Thank You, My King, for Your gift of love in each day. ❤

Time is a GIFT.
Whether it be a lifetime with loved ones,
or a brief visit with a loved ones,
time is such a beautiful thing.
Yet God tells us when we get to heaven,
there will be no more time….
cause we will be with our loved ones
(which includes him)
FOREVER ❤
Praise you, Lord my Manger King!

Happy Thanksgiving, Jesus!

Hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving, Jesus! ❤
I am so thankful that You can see how
incredibly and passionately grateful I am in my heart,
even when it goes unsaid.
You deserve a Shout of Praise!!
PRAISE YOUR HOLY AND FAITHFUL NAME! ❤
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. 🙂
Praying you find reasons to shout a praise to Jesus as well! 🙂
God loves you! ❤

Thank You For Preferring You In Me

While typing my poetry from the past to my poetry blog gaillovesgodspoetry,
I can get SO depressed, disgusted, and struggle not to throw some OUT!
Yes they are part of my testimony (especially as a writer),
but that is the ONLY reason I keep some.
When I realize how I thought on love, life, God,
other gods that I didn’t even know were gods,
and who my heroes were…UGH!!!
What was wrong with me!?
I must take this moment to post this THANK YOU and PRAISE TO GOD
for changing my life, my thinking and my writing!!
And to think… THAT?!?!? was the writing that has been most published!
The world preferred THAT?
THANK YOU, LORD, FOR PREFERRING YOU IN ME AND MY WRITING!! ❤

PS… God, the post above was written from a FB Memory of years ago before I had this blog. In editing it so that I could continue to praise You for loving You in Me, You remind me of the WP Community that You have blessed me with. In joy or sorrow, health or illness, or whatever I talk to You about on this blog, You constantly amaze me with the abundant comments that see You in me, and my love for You! Thank You for a sweet fellowship of support that is filled with souls who also prefer You in me!
Praise Your Holy and Loving name! ❤

Thank you to each one of You who have sent loving, kind, supportive messages that reflected on the love God showers me with, and the love I cannot help but have for Him! And thanks for having blogs and posts that are filled with the same love for me to be able to read! It makes me so happy for HIM! He deserves all His love and praise! ❤ 
Me and God love you! ❤

An Honest and Surrendered Will

God, I am sitting here… reading Your word… praying… listening… thinking on (selah)… a message that I am trying to write for you and those who will read… a post to let them know if they do not hear from me, or I am slow to respond, or accidentally miss a message that I am healing from a new procedure done just yesterday. Yet even while trying to inform about this RFA (Radio-Frequency Ablation) done to my right side this time and will be done to my left side in 2 weeks, I want to make sure this stays about You.

Yes it is to inform my friends and community that I am in a great deal of pain, struggling to walk, to sit, to stand, and sometimes get on the computer, so please be patient with me with responding. The wall, my claw walker, my heat/ice wrap, my chair You blessed me with from the ladies in my bible study are dear friends to me right now as I need them to get through this. But in even in all this pain, Lord, I know You do nothing by accident. The hope of these procedures is to eliminate (or at least alleviate) back pain that goes into my legs, that is excruciating pretty quickly when standing for more than 5 or 10 minutes. To relieve nerves in the lumbar and sacrum area that are being encroached upon. They burned these nerves for two minutes. I can’t help but think of Your word.

Burning… for purification… tried in the fire.. to let patience have her perfect work… that I may be perfect and entire… wanting nothing.

“My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” – James 1:2-4 AKJV

Are You burning my physical nerves to purify my spiritual nerves? Are You walking me through my fiery furnace to emphasize coming though without even the smell of smoke on them? I particularly thought of the latter because for several hours after the procedure because when I would use the bathroom I would smell something burnt, something hot, like burned wires or overheated electronics. It took me several hours to realize it was me.

I may have smelled smoke from the burning that took place for 2 minutes on my physical body, but it is my spirit that You emphasize You have walked with throughout my life, and have brought me through without even a smell of that past. Only through testimony to You does anyone ever know. And even though those details be horrific, filthy, violent, evil, and vile… through Your mercy, salvation, grace, rescue and reconciliation… through restoration it is all… only love! My love for you! Your love for me! Unconditionally! No matter what.

Even when my human mind goes through normal cycles of doubt, fear, shame, and guilt that has long been saturated with Your Son’s blood… You see, hear, and KNOW my love for You is unshakable, unwavering, and unconditional! Just the way You taught me! Through the very love You share with me.

So while I heal through another unfamiliarity, pray for relief from unwanted pain, and hope for healing even where they have used words like chronic, permanent, and nothing they can do… I KNOW YOU CAN! And while I know You can, I recognize Your Sovereignty, Your Authority, and Your Will. Just as Jesus asked You in the garden to remove His cup from Him if it were possible, I ask for all of the healing, restoration, and relief from pain that You will allow. And just like Jesus I leave my trust in Your hands because only You know the plans You have for me. Only You know who is witnessing my battle, my pain, my surrender to Your will for their own journey of faith.

Some may call me resigned, getting in the way of my own healing, lacking faith and thereby causing my own problems. But I know that is not the God You are. My sins are no match for Your blood and therefore I am forgiven. And surrendering even my health to Your will is not lacking faith, it is quite the opposite. I am not a hero or some kind of pain warrior. I cannot promise a testimony without tears, fears, depression, or the many things the world promises me from being Yours. I am after all still human, just as Jesus was while still in human flesh.

But I know that You promise my weakness makes Your strength perfect (2 Corinthians 12:9) , and that I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13). You promise to be with me (Psalm 16:8). And that You do care about my pain (1 Peter 5:7). I know You do! I believe You. And that is a great part of my strength. It all comes down to You! The Father who saw His only begotten Son come to Him 3 different times to pray in agony, yet ALWAYS trusting in His Father’s will. Help me to always keep my mind on Your will, and my trust into Your hands (Isaiah 26:3). As the psalmist penned,

’Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise,
Just to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”

In Jesus’ name I pray and trust because He has left me an example like none other…
an honest and surrendered will to the Heavenly Father! ❤ Amen!