My Proverbs Journal (Chapter 13)

IN JULY OF THIS 2020 YEAR, THE LORD GAVE ME A PROVERBS JOURNAL THAT ALLOWED ME TO READ A CHAPTER EACH DAY, AND THEN NOTE FROM THAT READING. BELOW WILL BE A LINK TO THE CHAPTER FOR EACH DAY, MY NOTES FOR THAT CHAPTER, AND SOME DAYS POETRY THAT HIS WORD INSPIRED ME TO WRITE AS WELL. IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL AND STRENGTHENING JOURNEY.
THANKS GOD FOR THE MOMENTS! I LOVE YOU! 

Proverbs, Chapter 13 (Click here to read for better understanding of the connection between the scripture and the notes they inspired below.)

Lord, this day was hard. I did note get to read and note before I ran “that errand” and “that incident” that made this day the unforgettable day that it was. I blame myself because there is ALWAYS room to work on being diligent, and to better discipline ourselves to present those things that distract us or to at least find ways to be prepared to be ahead of the distraction.

I know too that not all moments of distractions are our fault, nor are they meant to be accusation toward us. I honestly believe today was one of those days that You used to speak to me through Your word after the day occurred, to make Your word more emphasized.

In short, the day started off great. A day You seemed to have planned for me. Plans I would have not thought of, and became scary and nerve wracking to think on, and even more frightening as I began to embrace just following Your plans. Yet I began to smile too. More and more I feel freer and at such peace. I was delightfully surprised. I sensed Your presence so strong. It felt good. It felt right. Yes it did feel so scary for things to feel good and right, but my trust was in You! Not me, nor my feelings.

Then the day turned horrible, or so my circumstances tried to convince. The circumstances were horrible. They were devastating, in such a way that I cannot write about it out loud. But it did not mean that what You gave me was now bad. You were still good. You ARE still good!! You will ALWAYS be good.

So then in getting to finally sit and read later in the day, the first words I see are, “A wise son heareth his father’s instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.” As I’m reading aloud, I immediately hear my words, pause, and say to You, “A wise daughter too. My circumstances were not Your fault in any way. It was Your unwise daughter who carelessly wasted Your wisdom many times. It wasn’t something sinful, it wasn’t anything biblical at all. But the many provisions You kept providing as answered prayer went unheeded. I wasn’t trying to be stubborn. It was that careless side we’ve been discussing where my brain seems to lock me down in fear. But that fear clearly became careless and stubborn, despite my good intentions, or that I convinced myself were good. I had been “the well advised,” but my false hope deferred made me sick.

Had I “feared the commandment You gave I would have been rewarded.” Good understanding would have given me favor. Being a faithful ambassador would have been my health. But shame was my reward, as Your word warned. Help me to continue walking with that wise man who is You. Thank You for not sparing Your rod. Thank You for loving me enough to chasten me.

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