For His Glory

gaillovesgodspoetry

For His glory! Not mine!
That is why I write!
No pain or depression,
Or any other oppression
Should get in the way
Of needing to say,
God loves you!

A dying and hurting world
Needs to know He loves every boy and girl!
A sister and brother in Christ
Need encouragement for the fight.
Whether lost or saved,
We need the message He gave,
God loves you!

SO pick up the pen
And write again!
The battle is fierce
Shedding blood and tears.
But we must not delay
For one who needs to hear us say,
God loves you!

10.18.19 Friday
Written by Gail Brookshire
Glory to God!

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October|“What Kind of Pumpkin Are You?” Tag 10.23.19

What kind of pumpkin am I?? Lord, You have an interesting sense of humor to allow Dawn of Drawing Closer to Christ to nominate me for the October|“What Kind of Pumpkin Are You?” Tag. I love the little story told in the picture. How cute.  I confess those seeds of doubt still need some cleaning out. Not because I distrust you, but because I am still growing, and I know You are still washing the dirt off, and scooping out all the yucky stuff. Just when I think it’s all cleaned out, You find a seed I didn’t even know was there. You keep carving to get that smile to stay, and place a light inside that may not be visible to the human eye (nor my mind’s eye at times), but is absolutely You as my ever present help. My favorite part is when You pick me up! ❤

Thank you, Dawn, for a precious tag that causes me to take a moment to think on my relationship with Christ. I love considering the different ways God is working in my life. May you always see the light burning in your pumpkin! 🙂
God loves you, Dawn!pumpkin tag 1Here are the rules:

  1. Thank the person who tagged you and link their post to yours.
  2. Link the original post so the creators can read them 😊
  3. Use the original featured image and include it in your post.
  4. Copy and paste the meaning of the tag into your post.
  5. Answer the questions.
  6. Tag at least one person.
  7. Have fun and enjoy the rest of your month! ❤ I love the meaning behind this tag…

Here are the questions:

  1. Do you celebrate Halloween? Why or why not?
    No, I do not celebrate Halloween. Not only is against my faith, but I grew up around too much violence and death at least since 3 years old (earliest I can remember).
  2. Cookie Monsters!Do you like to watch scary movies? Why or why not?
    No! Watching death or someone’s pain is not entertaining for me. Fake or not!
  3. Name 3 of your greatest fears.
    I have struggled with fears for as long as I can remember. Sometimes you may read on my blog the Lord leading me to talk about them with Him or to testify. If He is not leading me to do either, I do not talk about them. Don’t help Delilah! 😉
  4. When was the last time you scared someone?
    I don’t know. 
  5. Do you believe in ghosts, angels, and/or demons?
    Yes. The bible speaks of all 3, but tells us to have nothing to do with them.
    a) We all have a ghost (biblically known as a familiar spirit) within us. King Saul tricked the witch of Endor (who knew better than Saul that it was a sin to deal with familiar spirits) to summon Samuel up from the grave. When Samuel arose, he rebuked Saul, and warned Saul that he and his sons would die too that day… and they did.
    b) There are bad angels. 1/3 of heavens angels fell with Satan.
    c) Legion is just one of the parables Jesus told of a young man possessed with a demon… actually several demons, hence the name Legion. They knew who Jesus was, and they feared him enough that at Jesus’ command they left the young man and went into a herd of swine, which they then drove into the waters and drowned.
  6. Do you ever get déjà vu? What do you think it means?
    I have experienced the feeling. I think it just means we either have done something we just don’t remember doing before but sense we have, or that there are too many similarities in life that get our attention more than others, just depending on where our minds are.
  7. What are two of your favorite candies?
    Reese Cups, gummies

Nominees: 

My Thoughts Exactly

The Go To Girls Blog

Fun Freedom Fables

Dancing After Jesus

Radically Saved

Shllyn

The Dopamine Queen

Faith on the Farm

Crazartt

Hope you’re able to enjoy the tag!
God loves you!

 

The Barnabas Award 10.21.19

Dear Lord! How Your love pours and pours… all over this blog (YOUR blog)… all over me… and all over those You use to bless me… and those You will allow me to bless in sharing! How do I begin to thank You for The Barnabas Award!

In the King James Version (KJV) of Your Holy Bible it means son of consolation,
“And Joses, who by the apostles was surnamed Barnabas, (which is, being interpreted, The son of consolation,) a Levite, and of the country of Cyprus,”
– Acts 4:36 KJV

and in the New International Version (NIV) it means son of encouragement.
“Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas (which means “son of encouragement”)”
– Acts 4:36 NIV

To be an encourager or a consoler for You… to bring someone cheer or comfort… with Your love… is a humbling privilege… an opportunity only You can give. Thank You for whispering my name to our dear Janet of My Father’s Symphony to nominate me for The Barnabas Award. . This sweet encourager has encouraged me! And through Your whispers to me will continue to comfort and cheer others. Praise Your Holy Name! The One True Comforter and The One True Encourager!

Thank You, Janet, for the kind nomination. Your blog, your precious family, and your strong love in the Lord is an encouragement to me. I love reading what God is doing for you! May the Lord continue to bless your blog and your family! Me and God love you! ❤Barnabas AwardYou have been chosen for this recognition because of the encouragement and inspiration you bring to your readers.

The way this works:

Thank the person who nominated you, and share their blog.

Think of five bloggers that encourage and inspire you and nominate them.

List five things about yourself.

Lastly, ask your nominees five questions. Why five? Because is the number that signifies grace.

Nominees:
Just 5, Lord??? How do I narrow down literally hundreds of souls who encourage me and console me, and many others each day here on WordPress?? If 5 is the number of grace, then 5 x 5 will share so much more of Your grace! Yes, that is 25! I pray for those who will NOT see their names, that You would help them to know what a tremendous encouragement/consolation they are to me and so many others!

  1. Purple Rose of Confessions and Thoughts of a Reluctant Preacher’s Daughter
  2. Anna of A Voice Reclaimed, Surviving Child Abuse
  3. Tosin of Alethea’s Mind
  4. Hazel of Pure Glory
  5. Kristi Ann of Kristi Ann’s Haven
  6. Wendi of Simply Chronically Ill
  7. Caz of Invisibly Me
  8. Regina of Help From Heaven
  9. Stu of Something to Stu Over
  10. Robert of Watching Daily at Wisdom’s Gates
  11. Herry of Herry Chic Counsels
  12. Tammy of God Inspired Art & Quotes
  13. Dawn of Drawing Closer to Christ
  14. Maxine of Heaven’s Reef
  15. Pastor’s Wife of Created and Called
  16. Sue of Run With It
  17. Jacquie of Joy Cottage
  18. Carol Anne of Therapy Bits
  19. Caralyn of Beauty Beyond Bones
  20. Gary of A Sagittarian Seeker
  21. Margaret of The Word
  22. Michelle of The Mimosa Blossom
  23. Pat of Beholding Him Ministries
  24. Meredith of My Way Home
  25. Cindy of Real Christian Women

There are many more of you who need to know you are an encourager/consoler.
God loves you! He cherishes you!

5 Things About Myself:
1. I love God my Father! ❤
2. I love Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior! ❤
3. I love the Holy Ghost (aka The Comforter)! ❤
4. I love my son Anthoni (aka Inner Man Theatre) ❤
5. I love God’s Holy Word! (aka The Holy Bible) ❤

The Questions

1. Who in your life is your biggest encourager?
My Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!

2. How do you see yourself as being an encouragement to others?
I write… posts, greeting cards, notes, email, call whosoever the Lord lays on my heart.

3. When was the last time someone gave you words of encouragement?
Tosin of Alethea’s Mind told me I made her cry tears of joy to know the Lord would use me to send her a message of encouragement.
❤ My cup runneth over! ❤

4. When you are down, what encourages you to get back up and keep pressing on?
The Holy Spirit reminds me of the love of God, and how much His Son suffered for me.

5. Who was your greatest encourager when you first accepted Christ?
Molly introduced me to Jesus,
but my greatest encourager was Ralph Sexton, Sr. the pastor who baptized me.

My Questions for the nominees
are the same as above.

30 Questions Tag 10.13.19

Dear Lord, You just keep the tags and awards coming! You know how to keep me faithful in sharing and encouraging when it can be so easy to give in to exhaustion and depression. Thank You for whispering my name to Sharon of Sharon Brown Photo in nominating me for the 30 Questions Tag. Bless her and her blog, Father. You have given her a gift with photography. Thank You for all the things You allow photography to bring my eyes that I might not otherwise ever see.30 Questions Homemade badgeThank you, Sharon! God bless you and your photography. Your blog is an adventurous blessing. I look forward to your “1st Ever Photogvember” through November! Thank you for thinking of me! God loves you!!! ❤

1. What are your nicknames? What do you prefer to be called?
Currently the Lord brings to mind a college buddy (Effy, short for Ephraim) used to call me Shakespeare. It was cute and funny, especially in his Indian accident. He loved saying it too. If the Lord allows I will blog on a favorite memory of Effy calling me Shakespeare that always brings a smile to my face. 🙂

2. How often do you doodle? What do your doodles like?
All the time. Either poetry, sometimes images, and a lot of times just scratch.

3. What do you do if you can’t sleep at night? Do you count sheep? Toss and Turn? Try to get up and do something productive?
Pray, read God’s word, recite God’s word, sing hymns

4. Do people consider you as talkative or quiet?
Depends on who you ask. Most people say quiet. Family says talkative.

5. What makes you cry?
Missing loved ones, breaking God’s heart, remembering God’s mercies

6. What is your biggest pet peeve?
People hurting one another… especially children.

7. How many times a day do you look at yourself in the mirror?
Just enough to make sure hair and teeth are clean, or maybe an eyelash in the eye.

8. What is the strangest thing you believed as a child?
Because I heard the word quarter referred to being 25 cents, it took me a long time before I understood that a quarter was 1/4 of a full dollar. Somehow even though I did great in math, I would still confuse someone saying 1/4 as to meaning 25 of something.

9. What is one guilty pleasure you enjoy too much to give up?
A guilty pleasure implies a wrong pleasure. John Wayne movies are so funny, but the language, drinking, and references to beating women to keep them well behaved is wrong. I really should avoid them and discourage my family from doing so.

10. Who performs the most random acts of kindness out of everyone you know?
Our Lord Jesus Christ! And while the crucifixion was not random, it was certainly the kindest thing anyone ever done for any of us.

11. How often do you read the newspaper? Which sections?
Rarely. Usually online for an obituary or particular article. But I will read it word for word if there is one lying around in the doctor’s office or hospital, as there usually is.

12. Which animal scares you the most?
Anything that cause serious harm or death.

13. Are you more likely to avoid conflict or engage it head-on?
I prefer to face things head on, but sometimes I do avoid conflict if it seems wiser.

14. What was the most recent compliment you’ve received?
That I am blessed more than most in my faith. (God really left me speechless and absorbing the depth of those words. I’m still awestruck.)

15. What question are you tired of hearing?
Does God really care? – He does! He loves you and cares so much!

16. What is the strangest thing you have eaten?
Wax candy when I was a child. YUCK! I hated it! Why are we eating candles???? 😉

17. Do you have a whole lot of acquaintances or just a few very close friends?
Both. God has blessed me with an abundance of both. ❤

18. Do you have a catchphrase?
God loves you! ❤

19. What’s your all-time favorite town or city? Why?
Heaven! It’s where my mansion is! I am so homesick!! 😦

20. If you had to change your first name, what would you change it to?
Gail! It’s my middle name now.

21. When was the last time you lied?
I really can’t remember, but whatever it was stays between me and God.

22. What’s something that amazes you?
The Love of God!! ❤

23. Would you rather be the first person to explore a planet or be the inventor of a drug that cures a deadly disease?
Invent a drug to cure a deadly disease…. hopefully cancer is just one of them!

24. What is your favorite amateur activity?
blogging

25. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?
Oh my head hurts! I woke up with a headache.

26. What is your favorite song (at least at the moment)?
Take My Life and Let It Be (Consecrated Lord To Thee)
I love this hymn! ❤

27. List someone you know, and describe them in 5 words.
my son Anthoni: Godsent, blessed, blessing, gift, God’s

28. You can select one person from history and have them truthfully answer one question. Who would you select and what would the question be?
“Lazarus, How long did you live after Jesus brought you back from the dead, and what did you die of the 2nd time?”

29. Which celebrity or artist do you resemble the most?
When I was younger I was often told I looked like Karen Carpenter. I had to look up who she was and loved her music… her voice. I was sad when a teacher told me she died.

30. What do you want me to know?
God loves you!!! ❤


Nominees

My Father’s Symphony
Becoming the Oil and the Wine
Positive Side of the Coin
When an Introvert Speaks
Into the Light Adventures
Hiraa Chaudhry: An Endeavor of Self-Perception
Joy Cottage
The Godly Chic Diaries
When Women Inspire
iScriblr

Congratulations to the nominees! Please do not feel obligated to participate! If you do, there is no hurry! Just want you to know you are thought. If you are Award and Tag free, just know that you were thought of too! God loves you each one! ❤

The Virtuous Woman Award 10.3.19

Proverbs 31:1-31 AKJV

The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.
What, my son? and what, the son of my womb? and what, the son of my vows?
Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.
It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink: lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted.
Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more.
Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction.
Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy.

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Authorized (King James) Version AKJV

virtuous-woman-award

Created by John @ The Eclectic Contrarian

Rules are simple…
paste the scripture,
add an image,
and state why you chose the women you’ve mentioned.

 


Lord, my dear Savior and King, How do I ever thank You for  sending me a nomination for an award in regards to such a precious and honorable subject in Your word! The Virtuous Woman is something I used to feel so bad about because I knew I could never live up to all of those requirements. Being the loving Father and King You are, You taught me to read ALL of the chapter. As a single mom of a son, You opened my eyes to a whole new meaning to this chapter.
King Lemuel’s mom is giving her son advice on women to avoid and the kind of woman to seek. The most beautiful part was to realize she was encouraging him to seek a woman who fears the Lord, above women with favor (or popularity), with beauty, and women who are drawn to vanity.

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:
but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
(verse 30)

That would be the verse You have always have me see in Proverbs 31. It is the summary of the Virtuous Woman because it is not about works, it about fearing You. Verse 31 tells us to let the works YOU have given each of us to be the fruit for our own individual works. It all comes back to You! A woman who is giving her all to You, and sharing that instruction and example of living in faith while reverently fearing the Lord in a love only YOU can give. Thank You for teaching me, Lord! ❤

Thank you, Purple Rose of
CONFESSIONS AND THOUGHTS OF A RELUCTANT PREACHER’S DAUGHTER
for nominating me for The Virtuous Woman Award!
May the Lord continue to bless you and your blog.
God loves you! ❤


NOMINEES:
(a note for nominees, The rule only require you to copy and paste verses 10-31.)

Lene of Wrestling With Faith – Dancing With Jesus
Lene was the first person You brought to mind, Lord. With all that life surely throws at her, she is a loving mom who has a faithful heart for the You. She seeks to be a godly mom and wife with her whole heart. On her other blog Song of Virginity the You lead her to teach others the importance of seeking a godly spouse, and doing it YOUR way.

Wendi of Simply Chronically Ill
Wendi has a meek and humble heart. As the title of her blog says she struggles with chronic illness, but it never diminishes her love for You. Her fruit is evident and sweet. I praise You for her encouragement.

Tosin of Alethea’s Mind
Tosin is a diligent and determined woman in her relationship with her family, with You, and with whatever You give her. I love reading the many ways she see You in her relationship with her daughter, and in so many other ways. I love seeing You in her!

Meredith of My Way Home
Meredith has a wonderful relationship with here daughter Shae of Shae’s Days (aka Bible Blogger Girl of Teen Meet God), and it is a delight to see it is grounded in a faith in You! I enjoy seeing You all over both of their blogs. Meredith is diligently passing on Your instruction.

There were others I wanted to nominate
but their sites say they no longer work or exist.
😦

I pray this tag is a blessing for each of the nominees!
That is what I see in each of you!
God loves you! ❤

 

 

 

Finally Fall Book Tag 9.25.19

Lord, reading through posts while I actually had a chance and enough energy and focus to manage comprehension I saw that Michelle of The Mimosa Blossom did the Finally Fall Book Tag, not too long after I had read Kathy of Katie’s Cottage Books had done her Finally Fall Book Tag (which was also Day 25 of Kathy’s 30 Day Writing Challenge she was doing). I saw they were both open nominations.

Thank you, Michelle and Kathy! May God bless you and your blogs!
Thanks for making it possible to share with others!
God loves you both!

Normally, I try not to do those as much as possible because I feel greedy when you have blessed me through many beautiful and generous souls. However on these two, you had me thinking differently.

You have whispered to me do them to keep “spreading the appreciation and tag somebody, and have fun,” and particularly because this one was regarding books! So many of my friends are into reading and/or reviewing them. And last but not least, to encourage others who want to do tags or awards that have open nominations to do them! Keep’em going! 🙂

So to thank both Michelle and Kathy, I will do the post together but with a book of Your bible to answer 1st, and then another book written by someone in the world that You have gifted! Then I will gift the friends You bring to mind who read/review books, and in case I forget someone I will leave the nominations open! 🙂


~ In the fall, the air is crisp and clear: Name a book with a vivid setting.

  1. Revelation! How could I not think of Your Revelation to John… the last book in Your Holy Bible. The white horse, the lady and the dragon, the angels, the seals, so much!
  2. The Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan. Wow! Did I feel so present reading that one! It opened my eyes to the real enemy and his tactics!

~ Nature is Beautiful . . . but also dying: Name a book that is beautifully written, but also deals with a heavy topic like loss or grief.

  1. Genesis was the first thing You brought to mind. There was no greater loss than when death entered into the world, and we were separated from You. A very heavy loss we still grieve every day until we get home.
  2. I wish I knew the name of the book and author You allowed someone from church to share with me in 2007 when my brother was killed at 37. It was written on Jesus resurrecting Lazarus, but told by a Christian who lost her brother, speaking on the pain and the importance of not bringing them back here. She said, “My Lazarus didn’t come back.” Yet reverently too.
    But since I can’t remember that title I will mention End Of The Spear by Steve Saint. His father Nate Saint along with 4 other missionary men were killed in 1956 in Ecuador by the Waodani Indians. Through God’s working Steve would become family to the Waodani. He later wrote God Doesn’t Waste Hurts, which shared the loss of his daughter and his 2012 accident that left him partially paralyzed.

~ Fall is back to school season: Share a non-fiction book that taught you something new.

  1. The Holy Bible as a book itself! Endless teaching that still continues.
  2. Two books here You have me thinking on are:
    How To Study The Bible And Enjoy It by Skip Heitzig taught me a great reading plan with study tips that are so easy to remember, keeps the whole bible fresh, and makes more sense of the chronological pattern and its difficulty.
    and The Endless Steppe by Esther Hautzig You used to teach me and my son that while American medicine teaches against dairy when sick, Siberians who are poor and struggle to have clothes and shoes during harsh winters conditions value most eggs and milk to prevent and treat pneumonia and bronchitis. My son and I learned these while he was struggling with a back to back round of bronchitis, as he did since a baby. It was true! It LOOSENS phlegm to get rid of it.

~ In order to keep warm, it’s good to spend some time with the people we love: Name a fictional family/household/friend group that you’d like to be a part of.

  1. The book of John has Jesus telling us about You as His Father God, and that we’re in the family too! I don’t have to wish it. I AM a child of God!
  2. I like being part of bible studies groups. They start off as fictional by the author and end up genuine. I’m currently a part of Redeemed by Angela Thomas-Pharr.

~ The colorful leaves are piling up on the ground: Show us a pile of fall-coloured spines.

  1. sorry, no pictures today. If there were I would show the stack of bibles that also has 4 composition books that are my copying Your bible.
    (God allowed me to get a picture up of my bibles and the 4 composition books of copying His Bible word for word. With His help I am up to 1 Chronicles.)
  2. All my other books are stored away to where getting them out would be too physically challenging right now. I tend to read and pass them on any way.

~ Fall is the perfect time for story telling by the fireside: Share a book wherein somebody is telling a story.

  1. The book of Matthew is just one of the gospels told by a disciple. The Sermon on the Mount is in this book, where You also placed the Beatitudes.
  2. Life Without Limits by Nick Vujicic is Nick telling of his being born without arms and legs. His journey of struggling… to a faith in God birthed a ministry that is embracing so many hurting souls. God does a mighty work in the reader to see those hurting souls need to return that embrace to Nick who they know cannot hug them back. They cling so tight and so long. God gives what we need by our giving of ourselves to others, through first giving ourselves to God.

~ The nights are getting darker: Share a dark, creepy read.

  1. 1 Samuel tells of Saul’s creepy behavior toward David, and Saul “dark” enough to have priests killed. They started off as King and favored subject. Creepy thing to me, Lord, was David killing 1,000 Philistines to give their foreskins to Saul as a present and marry his daughter. When the people cheered, Saul got jealous over David’s popularity. David could be at dinner and suddenly find his father-in-law trying to spear him. Saul was obsessed with killing David. Saul and his sons died for getting a witch to bring Samuel’s spirit up from the grave.
  2. Foxe’s Book of Martyrs tells of different people really persecuted and killed because of professing faith in Christ. While we honor them and understand their courage, or at least following through no matter the cost, we also read what they suffered. Burned alive. Limbs falling off while still alive, and able to still sing or profess while burning. If it weren’t for what the book is about I wouldn’t normally read this kind of book.

~ The days are getting colder: Name a short, heart-warming read that could warm up somebody’s cold, rainy day.

  1. Philippians is a wonderful short book! So much faith, peace that passes all understanding, strength through Jesus Christ, and many lovely things full of virtue to think on. ❤
  2. Bloom by Caralyn of Beauty Beyond Bones (YES! A WordPress Blogger) uses her journey in an intake facility to battle anorexia to create a daily journal. One can either read it straight through as she tells bible passages that helped her, prayer for each day, and sharing wisdom and insight learned from finding Jesus in her journey, or one can read and note each day as the daily journal is designed, leaving room for one’s own notes. I was blessed to read as a bible journal.
    Thank You for the blessing, Lord!

~ Fall returns every year: Name an old favorite that you’d like to return to soon.

  1. By Your grace and discipline, I once memorized the book of James. It has 5 chapters and such wisdom. I was blessed to learn from the memorization, and it helped me to make a testimony I didn’t even expect among believers and nonbelievers alike. I would like to try to keep that memorization… any word You will allow! ❤
  2. When God’s People Let You Down by Jeff VanVonderen was a book You led me to years ago when I witnessed severe hurts in the church, including several leader friends being fired from their church . I seriously contemplated quitting church because while I did not grow up in church, I saw enough the hurtful hypocrisy. This was different because now I was a mom who had a responsibility for a little boy who even had a heart to be a preacher as early as 3 yrs old. A friend gave me this book and after a few chapters I was cheering for us all! It’s Satan who is the enemy! We have to keep fighting the cause for Christ, not against each other!

~ Fall is the perfect time for cozy reading nights: Share your favorite cozy reading “accessories!”

warm, comfy fitting clothes (socks included), a blanket, maybe some hot chocolate or hot tea, in a comfy fitty chair or bed (or back and forth 😉 ) always a pen a note pad nearby, and healthy lighting for my eyes.

Nominees:

Jessy of FAB: Faith and Books

T.R. of Inside Cup

Vickie of Vickie’s Book Nook and Meditation Center

Regina of Help From Heaven

Caz of Invisibly Me

Savannah of Rejoicing In Hope

Tammy of God Inspired Art & Quotes

Susan of Rhythm In Life

Spread the autumn appreciation and tag somebody!

Have fun!

If you’re reading this,
YOU ARE TAGGED! 

 

My Very Present Help

“God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.”
– Psalm 46:1 KJV

 

Lord, I do not know in starting this post what it will be called. And I know I just posted the Share Your Passion Tag 9.27.19 and still have the notifications to do for the nominees while trying to stay awake, but I do know that I need to write this post to and for You! To praise You for what You have done for me in abundance recently, but especially for seeing me through the Transforaminal LESI (Lumbar Epidural Steroid Injection) I had to have yesterday (Tuesday). LESI.1I was nervous because I had never had one done. I have had many friends and family who had them when having babies, and guys too for back issues. Yet they were always either they did not take despite how many they gave them, how they created pain and damage somewhere it never had before the epidural, and even paralyzed.

Just days before this epidural, I had a dear young friend who gave birth to her 3rd baby. Her husband was reporting she had an epidural because the baby turned breech at the last moment when time to push. Afterwards my friend struggled with severe headaches, neck pain so stiff she could not move her head, and blood pressures running 222/98. The whole in her spine from the epidural was not healing. They went back in and did a blood patch, and within 30 minutes it healed. Praise God she finally starting getting rest and truly healing.

But with all of this on my mind, I was also so stiff and in pain, moving as though I were 90 yr old with a walker again. My neck too gets stuck several times a day, needing a pop 8 out of 10 times because of my cervical issues). I’m on 2 blood pressure pills. Friends and family were noticing and asking things like what happened, are you going backwards, and I thought your new neurologist was good. I was hurting all day from my mid back, to my sacrum, to my hips, to my thighs, to my knees, to my calves, to my feet, and even to my toes. Every one of those parts had moments of weakness and completely giving out with no warning, sometimes multiple parts at a time.

In therapy they are always trying to get my body straight for certain exercises, good posture, and to properly support my spine. When they are working to help me they see I am truly trying, but my legs do not look like they are designed to go straight, as well as my back against the wall and stay there while I do the needed work. When they literally straighten it for me by physically forcing it straight and maintaining the hold, it causes severe pain, especially afterwards. I struggle to walk and within an hour or so cannot walk anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour, sometimes taking a full night and day resting as much as possible, while using my walker to get up and down, to walk to use bathroom, and even to get up and down to use bathroom. And oh how it hurts to bend to try and clean myself, yet I still fail to be able to sometimes.

I say all of this, Lord, because today was the first Dr. B was realizing how “taxing” (his words) it was for me to use my legs to walk, to stand, to do just about anything while having to live in a world where I HAVE to. Yet when he told me to tell my doctor I had to sadly tell him again how they either just keep saying they don’t see why I really complain, or to tell him. He heard it. Just like last time. He does listen. I had to let him know the neurologist he sent me to (neurologist #7) told me not to be doing shots, but I was able to let him know I told her if it wasn’t for the shots I wouldn’t be walking, sleeping, standing, tolerating anything against my back (even a pillow), or anything. I let her know how grateful I was to You, God, for Dr. B. I had told her I was trusting You, and that You led me to someone who was listening and willing to DO what he could, therefore I was to trust whatever he said he needed to do.

Yes I heard the horror stories on those spinal nerve blocks we have done the last 3 years as well, and been told since I was 12 yrs old (the first time I woke up unable to walk and my back hurting, having to be carried to the car and into the hospital) to avoid surgeries, shots, chiropractors, or any back docs as much as possible because I would end up paralyzed. If I was able to walk, then just find something to use as a pain gauge to determine between I’m okay, I really need to sit down, or lay down and do NOTHING until my body allows me. No medicines. And my body could not tolerate cold because it stiffened it worse, increasing the pain and worsening the mobility. The heat seem to just magnify the feel of the pain. I learned to just quietly breathe it out… and not that funny breathing or any of that cry out in pain that just turned out to be more physical exertion. Natural patient breaths. Most of the time having to close my eyes and go inside with You, God, just patiently waiting.

That’s most certainly what I had to do yesterday with You! I don’t usually try to let people know I am in pain because I figure there is no point to burden others when they have their own burdens, and happen to be busy working or serving. I have to work hard at therapy and the doctor’s office because they always ask you questions that you are trying your best to answer to help the doctor, but to tell them WHAT is wrong, WHERE, WHY, HOW do you stop it, are reasons I am there to ask them to tell me. And I understand it is a 2 way communication street, but the strict insurance rules taking on playing the role of the doctor or even God, do not help. You, Lord, have allowed me to manage through the challenges of my spine for 47 years, but have made clear it is time to get answers, healing, help to know what won’t be healing, how to manage and maintain, and to learn how to better communicate to help my doctors.

This was my pain level coming in,
really for the last several months.
Even on the premed and my regular meds.
Especially when using the bathroom. 😦LESI.4It is most painful when I have to stand for more than a few minutes, like when making a lunch for Anthoni (my son) sometimes for work, or for Bobby (my 85 yr old stepdad) for lunch, or long enough to stand in the kitchen to even fix myself something. I have to lean against the cabinets, fridge, drawers, or shift from foot to foot. It is excruciating when standing for praise and worship at church (and I hate that because of how it steals Your praise, and never fails to get looks of me having attitude, a wrong heart, or even sinful).

And OH!! How I struggle to bend forward to clean myself. That’s embarrassing to say out loud, but I am trying to make this record before my memory fails me as it does every moment of the day. And the depression makes me feel like what’s the point of writing… that’s just trying, and what’s the point of trying if nothing’s going to change, except maybe for the worst. I am trying to openly praise You in a way to thank You for everything You did for me yesterday… in just by BEING THERE WITH ME! And because You often convict me and encourage me to be as open and honest as possible for my dear friends who are suffering their own chronic illnesses and the chronic humiliation that comes with it.

Like our Caz who just went through another excruciating time of her own in (A Very Mini) Mini Me Update), and her only way to escape was to share with us via WordPress, Facebook, email, and photos. The pain, agony, misery, and tears in one being bold enough to be vulnerable while feeling like nothing… to no one… just completely invisible no matter how strong the pain, how loud the shouting, or how honest the tears and anger. Hence the name of her blog and FB… Invisibly Me.

I think of her when I am on that table… praying for the face of the friend I seen in such agony… yet posting for those that she knew were going through their own things, and she wanted them to know they weren’t alone, telling them what rights they have at a time like that, and in those deep desperate eyes crying with the only ones she knows to care about her… to please still be there, please still see me… without you I have no one to see I exist… I am visible. I am here. Without SOMEONE on my side, Invisible is all I can feel. I don’t even see me anymore.

I think of and pray for
Wendi of Simply Chronically Ill,
Jill of Food, Feelings, Freedom,
Kourtney of Defining Yellow,
Caralyn of Beauty Beyond Bones,
Tasha of Pain Warrior Code,
Carol Anne of Therapy Bits,
Maxine of Heaven’s Reef,
Margaret of The Word who has been displaced from her home due to a hurricane months back, and found kindness in strangers who are lovingly sacrificing to provide shelter for her and her husband,
Jen of Jen’s Life,
Efua of Grace Over Pain,
Stu of Something to Stu Over and his beautiful children Brandon and Erin.

Dr. B was very patient, kind, compassionate, considerate, informative, insightful, and very careful with what he was doing. The numbing medicine alone when it kicked in with the premed and my regular meds, immediately decreased my pain down to moderate, but only because he was still working with needles and pressure.LESI.3Getting off of the table was much slower and challenging than it had been, but Dr. B has helped me many times come off that table in a careful manner, helping me to feel that my feet are on the ground, and that my feet can keep me upright with my head feeling like a floating bowling ball that I cannot control. I kept this face till I got out of the office and into the car. I believe it was really more about feeling ungrounded while trying to walk on it. But praise the Lord for all of that medicine. It was allowing my pain to actually accomplish this last picture representing…

NO PAIN!!LESI.2So many answered prayers, even if just for the moment.
But God, praise Your Holy name, I’ll take that moment!
And for as long as You will allow it! 🙂
So many have been praying for me, and still are.

I know the ladies of the bible study I am attending with Keitha leading (Redeemed by Angela Thomas-Pharr), the ladies of her church Gracepoint, and several who were attending the ladies banquet at Brown Barn the night before the Epidural are praying fervently for me. (Don’t let me forget, Father, to take my badge back with me for next Tuesday evening, hopefully undamaged)GB-Redeemed Badge

This picture below shows while I thought I was doing a good job of keeping some excruciating pain under control so that I wouldn’t burden anyone or disturb this awesome night out together in sweet Godly fellowship, actually made my face look like I didn’t care for my picture being taken, as if I were unsociable. I admit I didn’t FEEL like I was BEING sociable, but I still made every effort for Sarah and Keitha particularly!
(Sarah is to my right, and Keitha is behind the camera.)71555398_744552119318478_7337167265403502592_nBut I am trusting that You will restore to me the ability to genuinely show a smile that represents how truly grateful I am for these sisters in Christ who give so much of themselves… to strangers… to enemies… to persecutors… despite their own health issues (Keitha was wearing her knee brace for her poor knees, and was limping, but very much serving)…. they are doing it all for YOU! ❤

I had to miss this week because it began as I was leaving the doctor’s office.
I look forward to being with the ladies whenever You allow.
And I look forward to getting another Keitha hug! 🙂RLLBS.2019.5

As long as this post is, it still doesn’t give proper credit for everything You have been doing for me, especially yesterday afternoon! Thank You, God, more than anything for simply being there with me! When all I could do was keep my eyes closed, go inside with you, and with normal patient breaths keep telling You that I love You! Even when I could not focus to form words, You were still there. Holding my hand, reminding me of past trials and the faith You got me through with.

THANK YOU, LORD GOD!! THANK YOU!
PRAISE YOUR HOLY AND RIGHTEOUS, PROTECTIVE, COMFORTING SELF!
THANK YOU, HOLY SPIRIT, FOR CONTINUOUSLY TALKING WITH ME,
COMFORTING ME!
AND THANK YOU, JESUS, FOR MAKING AN INCREDIBLE SACRIFICE
TO SAVE ME FROM MYSELF,
FROM MY SINS THAT BREATHE DOWN MY NECK SOMETIMES,
FROM FEAR THAN TAKES ADVANTAGE OF WEAKNESS
LIKE ALL COWARDS DO.

❤ I LOVE YOU, FATHER GOD! 
❤ I LOVE YOU, JESUS CHRIST!
❤ I LOVE YOU, HOLY SPIRIT!