Lord, I miss so much… so many things I use to physically be able to do. Yet I am reminded I am who You have made me. You know better than me what one thing is connected to another. The world can mean well, especially about things that seem normal or even seem necessary, but for reasons You alone know (but sometimes graciously share) You have removed me from some things or removed some things from me that You deem crucial for my way of thinking. My world has been critical to my way of thinking for years, and at times as if all rolled into one. Just as You drew me out and set me apart to have relationship with me played the most valuable role in helping me to sort out the junk in my head (to even see it was there) from all different sources and voices, and my own flawed thinking… even now to crave or to miss anything allows You to draw me out and set my spirit aside for You and You alone.
If I missed out on something that means so much to me, especially because I believed You were in it, I know You have Your reasons and I am to trust You. My depression may linger heavy, but Your love lingers much heavier. Saturate me in everything about You. Your love is my hedge. I don’t know what You have planned for me to suffer or to celebrate, but as long as I am with You that is ALL that matters. Not all the battles I lose are losses in Your eyes. Sometimes I just need to see it through the way You view it.