Rachel & Leah Bible Study: Night 3 of 6

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The emblem pictures that I have been using for each week as the feature picture for our bible study has a misprint for week 3  as you can see below… it still has week Truth Two: See It Like It Really Is” written on it.RLLBS.2019.16

This could just be God reminding us to keep seeing it like it really is as He also reminds us of Truth Three: “You Don’t Always Have To Be Okay.”

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The verse for the week was 1 John 5:14
“And this is the confidence that we have in him,
that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us.”

This was truly representative of my week, and the the whole study so far. Between so many tests, procedures, and therapies (all for my good), I am exhausted. And can you believe that I kept forgetting that I was fighting a sinus infection?? The good thing was it wasn’t one of those sinus infections where I was miserable in my sinuses and blowing like crazy, or being stuffed miserably. It was just a lot of continuous blood, scabbing inside, and occasionally very stuffed (as during one of my procedures.) I could not do an antibiotic during some procedures or they would be cancelled. I needed them too much to risk that. When I got the green light, I was put on a 10 day prescription. It took about 5 days for the scabbing to finally heal. Sometimes I still have blood, but I really believe it’s the scabbing coming off from using the vaseline inside.

I only tell you this because following God’s lead in these studies helped me to deal with them so much better, and they were very rough days. Some more mentally, emotionally, and spiritually challenging than anything. I think of you my dear friends who struggle in many of your own chronic illnesses and nightmare procedures. Our dear Caz was so unfortunate to experience her visit she shared with us in her Mini Me Update: A&E Emergency Surgery. I hated having to see her suffer in her picture, but that was such a raw and honest cry of someone in pain and it seemed like the world didn’t care, was even cruel in their own way, or at least could do nothing to help her as much as they were trying.

I would think of her when my pain was so unbearable the tears I was trying to withhold in front of the techs doing my testing failed to stay inside. It helped me to remain silent despite the intense pain when I realized the techs WANTED my screams and cries. How cruel, yet I had to be appreciative, or at least still until they were through. I mean I was hooked up to their fun in causing torture. When they finally realized I was crying and quiet, they actually tried to cheer me (to comfort me) by telling me (with enthusiasm and great delight) how they had a young man curled up in the corner of the bed, afraid to let them touch him…. joyfully calling him a coward. I looked at her with great disgust and told her “How horrible! That must have been so painful for him!” I admit my tone was not as fitting as it should have been with the clear disgust intended, but it was filled with the devastation for that young man. And it will be voiced clear and properly on my feedback to the hospital!

I also thought of my dear friends Wendi of Simply Chronically Ill, Tasha of Pain Warrior Code, Caralyn of Beauty Beyond Bones, and so many more. I talk of a lot of you, and my precious blogging community as a whole. How blessed I am that God led me to such wonderful dear friends… family… around the world! And all from trusting His lead to start blogging… first to Him… then in trusting Him to open my settings to public. My reward… a world of love… literally. So I openly share with you that I am not okay lately... and that’s okay! My God says it is! And it’s okay to share it with you because He reminds me you may need it. I don’t worry about likes, views, and numbers. If you only knew how many of your posts I read without getting a chance to like, or comment. And I AM the one who was blessed by them.

Oh my.. I need to finish this post to make it to night 4 of 6… tonight! LOL

I forgot to mention a very important factor… Keitha was not there this week 😦 As many of you know she leads the bible study… with a huge heart for God, and her own lovely personality God gave her. She was speaking at a weekend convention. While I missed her hug, I was so glad for her and praying for her!!

She had Beth fill in, and one of the most amazing thing Beth did to make a point about comparison was a magazine she had in front of us. She counted how many pages were for ads compared to how many total pages were in the magazine. There were well OVER half the magazine…. most of them being skin care or something to do with catering to (or pushing the notion of) changing something about ourselves, implying we weren’t acceptable. I counted magazines everywhere I had an appointment this week… the same result!

 

  1. Picture one above is my poor badge after I accidentally left with it on week 2 and put it in my jacket pocket so I would not forget it. I smoothed it out a LITTLE bit, but the damage is done. Oh well. See Like It Really Is.. right?? To my poor badge, “You Don’t Always Have To Be Okay.” 😉
  2. Picture two was my prayer card to write my new prayer request on, and my ticket for door prizes. Let me tell you, God touched me so! I wrote my prayer request after thinking all week that Truth 3 was the same See It Like It Really Is,” and feeling like God just wanted me to accept that I wasn’t ok. That I was tired, to be honest and make others accept the same. So my prayer request was to help my spirit listen to the Holy Spirit’s whisper to rest and accept that I am not okay! Then I got to the room for the video and heard her talking about us accepting that we are not ok! How clear is God!! And so loving!!
  3. Picture 3 are all the prayer requests I have received so far. I pray for them each time I study. We are praying for a 39 yr old who was a part of our class but suddenly found she had stage 4 metastatic breast cancer… ironically her name is Nikki too. (not the author of the study, and I hope I spelled her name correctly.)

Here are more personal daily prayers we write for God. Again, there are 5 days, but for some reason only 3 of my pictures survived. Sorry. I’ll just thank God I have the 3! 🙂

 

I loved this quote below.
IMG_20190324_152804Faith does not mean that everything is going to turn out okay.
Faith means we trust God even when things aren’t going okay.

I thank God for the study, the ladies, my doctors, therapists, family, friends, church families, blogging family, and everything that God gives.

Dear friend, God loves you! He wants you to know too:
“You Don’t Always Have To Be Okay.”

“And this is the confidence that we have in him, that,
if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us.”
– 1 John 5:14

Rachel & Leah Bible Study: Night 2 of 6 (Follow Up)

RLLBS2019.2.1So I am finally posting the follow up to week 2 of 6 in the
Rachel & Leah: What Two Sisters Teach Us About Combating Comparison.
Written by Nicki Koziarz.RLLBS2019.2.3Truth Two (aka Week 2) was See It Like It Really Is
The verse was Proverbs 31:30. “Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting,
but a woman who fear the Lord will be praised.” (NIV)

The King James Version read “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:
but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.”

I was able to do the homework designed to be done a little each day for 5 days. Each one beginning with a few lines to write your own daily prayer to God. I don’t know why I only have 4 pictures because I did each day. I can only use my little brother’s favorite excuse… “I’ve slept since then.” And I have… a lot! Yes, I am still dealing with exhaustion.

 

I actually enjoyed these little prayers so much that I missed them on days 6 & 7. I was blessed to get the homework that came along with it done too, but it sure did hit so personal each time. I was grateful my health was another strong issue so that I didn’t have to deal with the first answers that came to mind when asked questions. I felt like the chaotic mess mentioned on this page.RLLBS2019.2.6“You may also be living in a chaotic mess – a cycle of sin, a continual battle of comparison that seems to hold you captive and is threatening to define you. Know that the sovereign God has not abandoned you. His love has and will always be a CONSTANT in your life. He is working in your midst, guiding you, and wanting to empower you to break out of the chaos. You don’t have to live like this.”

There was a pretty cool chart that had 3 columns
1. When Comparison Makes Me Believe I Am…
2. I’ll Read…
3. And It Will Remind Me…

 

During discussions I told the ladies one of my answers for “When Comparison Makes Me Believe…” was Selfish, and that when I told my son Anthoni I was trying to think of a verse in the bible that would help me to combat feeling selfish, he reminded me of 1 John 3: 20 “For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.” I was so caught off guard when one of the ladies quickly said to me, “Well done, Momma!” God can use the most amazing ways to encourage us!

I loved filling out this list of telling God what I’m still longing for…RLLBS2019.2.11

– Heaven
– Him
– To never disappoint Him again
– To do all that He asks of me
– His presence
– His wisdom
– His leading

But I admit the one at the bottom of the page shamed me a little. I’m glad He searches our hearts and tries us. It is good to see any cleaning or reality check necessary.RLLBS2019.2.12

This was interesting too. I thought I’d share it with you, if you’re interested. Hope you can see it. I will post the answer page below.RLLBS2019.2.13

RLLBS2019.2.14I was MOSTLY 1s:
You tend to compare yourself to others in the realm of Physical Appearance.

This just confirms what I already said about wishing for the health I use to have, even more so when watching others.

So that was week 2 follow up. I forgot I was fighting a sinus infection too. But God helped me through, and I am grateful for all He gave! And I am grateful for all the health that I do have, and the medical help in maintaining that. I do not begrudge others their health. Quite often it encourages me to see what others can. Comparison can be a very cruel thing. Yet it can be a very helpful and healthy way of reminding us to give God all of His praise… even in that which we are unable to understand.

Jacob, Leah, Rachel and even the handmaids Zilpah and Bilhah were all in unfair situations that could not be undone. But the circumstances did not have to determine how they would choose to deal with things. It is only for God to judge each one of us stuck in our situations, while still stuck in our human flesh.

I pray for you in your circumstances and your personal feelings. More importantly, I pray for your relationship with God. Trust Him! He knows better than anyone the unfairness done to you, the things you cannot change, and the way you honestly feel about it. Believe it or not… God does love you!.

Though He Were A Son

“And he taketh with him Peter and James and John,
and began to be sore amazed, and to be very heavy;
And saith unto them,
My soul is exceeding sorrowful unto death:
tarry ye here, and watch.”
– Mark 14:33-34 KJV

“Who in the days of his flesh,
when he had offered up prayers and supplications
with strong crying and tears
unto him that was able to save him from death,

and was heard in that he feared;
Though he were a Son,
yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;
And being made perfect,
he became the author of eternal salvation
unto all them that obey him;
Called of God an high priest after the order of Melchisedec.”
– Hebrews 5:7-10 KJV

Popsicle Humor part 2

My stepdad Bobby and I are enjoying more popsicles riddles,
and because you loved them we wanted to share again!
Hope God gives you another smile! 🙂
Me and God love you each one!

What did the gum say to the shoe?
– I’m stuck on you.

What animal has the best sense of time?
– A watchdog.

What can you catch, but not throw?
– Your breath.

What do raspberries do when they get together?
– They have jam sessions.

PS… I’ve also been enjoying the God Is My Happy Place series on Life With Jesus, and thought I would share it with you as well! She has 12 so far. They have been such an encouragement to me as God has allowed me moments along the way to read them.

 

Rachel & Leah Bible Study: Night 2 of 6

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God, You’ve been so good to allow me to make it for night 2 of 6 in the
Rachel & Leah: What Two Sisters Teach Us About Combating Comparison.
Written by Nicki Koziarz.

I made it just in time, after I had just spent a couple of hours sitting in a parking lot catching up on reading our homework. In reading, I finally noticed it was meant to be a little reading each day. It is designed in a very friendly manner to making time in one’s day. And having daily reading is always good soul food. Adding daily writing is such a blessing too. It allows one to take the material with you more. I will make a better effort this week ahead and the others, with your help.

Truth Two (aka Week 2) is See It Like It Really Is
The verse is Proverbs 31:30. Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting,
but a woman who fear the Lord will be praised. (NIV)

The King James Version reads “Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:
but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.”

Both serve the purpose in helping us to understand that charming ways are deceptive, favor can be deceitful, beauty can be vain and fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord… she shall be praised. Following the Lord, insteading of competing or flattering one another is always wiser. Being favored or showing favor makes us mindful of what we think and expect of each other. Being in God’s favor and mindful of His beauty, being focused on what He thinks and expects of us helps us to discipline the human tendency of comparison.

Thank You, God, for the snacks! Thank You for the discussions. Thank You for Nicki’s video. Thank You for Keitha’s leadership. Thank You for helping me to remember the Bloom book and the Coloring Journal. Thank You for my small group during prayer time. Thank You for trusting me with others’ new prayers to carry through the week. Thank You for giving me the courage to pray out loud when it was my turn. Thank You that my nerve blocks have been on Mondays this time so far instead of on the same day. Thank You for Keitha hugs! And for every hug You allow! Sisters in Christ are so loving! ❤

I look forward to meeting You each day this week in our book. Help me to See It Like It Really Is…. it being life… my health… my weaknesses… my need for others… my need to be there for others… Your love for us! Help me to keep my mind on You. May I always have reverent fear for You. I would be a fool not to.

Thank You for loving us, Father! I love You! ❤
PS… Maybe next week I’ll get pics! It’s up to You! 🙂