Sin is real. It’s so real, it’s scary.
It’s scary how it has so much control.
It’s scary how it has a grip on me.
It’s scary that I seem to have a grip on sin.
Whether it’s lying, stealing, or coveting
sin is something that God hates.
And for that reason alone, I know that hell is real.
Eternal condemnation is real.
The reality of it’s existence is scary.
It’s so scary to know it wants me.
It’s so scary to know it waits for me to fail.
How scary to know that Satan can make evil
such a pleasurably and comforting feeling.
It’s scary to know that he smiles in the dark
to know he has yet lured me again.
Forgiveness is so real. It’s a comforting thing.
It too waits for me and smiles,
but thank God because it’s a part of Christ’s love.
It’s so comforting to know it embraces me.
It’s so comforting to know it rescues me.
It’s so comforting to know it cleanses me.
And most of all, it comforts me to know
it strengthens me and makes it possible to resist sin.
Forgiveness makes me a new person.
And that is a real comfort.
7-4-01 Written by Gail Brookshire
(by the grace of God)
gaillovesgod 
What if self forgiveness is a struggle? What if fear is so overwhelmed that anxiety and fainting from fear takes control? What if knowing by evidence that one (me) has absolutely no one to talk to. Yes I speak to the Lord Jesus every day, but I wish that I can have someone who can speak back to me. My friends lead their own lives and I respect that, but unfortunately there is no room for me anymore. I can’t even speak to my own spouse. He tunes me out. Even with my pet the conversation is one sided. How do I rise from a depression of loneliness and abandonment from those who proclaim love and proclamation of being there in good and bad times? I’m dropped like a disease. I pray and practice every day the parables of Jesus’ teaching, but I can’t stop crying from the disappointment of people around me. I feel lost in the woods. I’m not perfect. I’ve got many flaws, but I do try with my pure intentions. Why does it always go so wrong. Why does my faith constantly waiver? Fear? What should I do? You’re the only person that I feel safe to ask this. I feel in my soul that you are touched by a special gift of empathy and compassion. I thank you for your articles. They speak to me like nothing else does in my times of hopelessness and despair. God bless you, my treasure 🙏
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Oh my dearest disletti! The Lord was just laying you on my heart last night to pray for you. I know if He is whispering you in my ear, it is because you are on His heart. I know He had my breaking for you even before I read this today. So His must be heavy for you. How much He loves you!
Sin, fear, anxiety, confusion… they are all a part of a very cruel Satan. Yet they are also a part of our daily lives, sometimes from thing around us, sometimes because our mind is as diseased or bruised as a diseased pancreas effected by diabetes, or a bruised knee. In those times we need the help from doctors, therapists, maybe even medicine. I don’t know your situation, and I am not a doctor. I just know that fear and anxiety can so easily beset us… daily.
But God’s word let us know that He knows what comes at us, and that He will help us. Fear and anxiety are NOT SINS! Jesus agonized in the garden… unto death… with GREAT drops of sweat… asking the Father to remove His destined cup if there were any other way… but submitted His human fear to God’s will. We need to do the same.
The key is to do what Jesus did… go to the Father… on our knees… being as honest and as real about our fear. God knows and He loves us. I know He loves you, disletti! He whispers your name for prayer! And I love you, Sister. I am praying for you. If you have a doctor, tell them about your fears and anxieties. Trust their wisdom. Pray about and for your doctors.
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Yes I do have two very nice doctors and I do take medicine to help me when I’m so overwhelmed by fear that my blood pressure drops and I faint. It’s not pleasant and I feel ashamed by it. The pain in Puerto Rico, California, Texas, Florida, Mexico and many others are far worse than my situation and crisis’. Yet I feel so horribly isolated that I cry uncontrollably, sleep and then just stare at the wall. Driving had been my pleasure zone for years. I’ve always bulbed up with positive ideas, but lately I feel like my heart and soul ran out of gas. Is kindness a sin? Is that why people leave? Is that why my own spouse won’t take responsibility for his part of this partnership. I can’t be someone’s mother. I speak and pray many times, but I feel so hollow. Am I selfish for wanting a friend who would speak back? I recently got layed off from work which only makes me feel worse. It was a personal and political decision. Favorites and butt kisses are not my style, hard work and kindness is. I was part of the previous management team and they waited for a legal opportunity to lay me off, saying “position eliminated “. I was angry because it’s my old bosses fault. Their scandalous affair made me collateral damage, while they still make big money and their marriages are fine. I got a pay cut in the thousands, humiliated, degraded, condescended etc… My faith went up and down like a roller coaster. I don’t miss the childish drama but I miss my paycheck and benefits. Every person who professed love abandoned me. Is Jesus testing me? My anxiety doesn’t know where to go. How can I help others while I’m stuck in this well of shame and loneliness? I thank you for your kindness and time for me. You’re the only one. God bless you for your beautiful heart and soul. May his love and grace shower you and your family ever minute of every day. I’ve got to go grab that tissue right now. 🙏🙏🙏🙏 Thank you 💝
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I am sorry about your situation. You are more than welcome to e-mail me as well through the contact page. Praying for you!
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Thank you for your offer. I’ll collect myself before doing that. God bless your wonderful generosity ❤️
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Have you thought about asking your doctors if it’s time to go from meds “when you need them” to something on a daily basis? It helped me a lot to get ahead of the stress and anxiety. There are some days it still helps me more just to talk through the anxiety with my therapist.
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Sadly my meditation is on a daily basis. I haul and down days, but lately it’s been more down than up. I’m hoping to take a drive tomorrow just to get some cobwebs out of my head. Plus I need to be away from my husband. He’s hurt me deeply with his irresponsible behavior and unwillingness to contribute. Maybe a day at the beach can help. I’ll try anything. This stress has given me too many migraines and I don’t like when my eyes are out of sorts. I do have the Bible on audiobook, so it’ll make the drive peaceful. Thank you ❤️🙏
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I will be praying for you that the drive will help, and that the Lord will give you wisdom in finding what you need. I pray He will bring just the right friend, that He will strengthen your relationship with your husband, and that your doctors and medication will be of more help to you.
I, too, can still struggle despite all of the resources available, but I have to discipline my choice to trust Him who I am… every bit of me. He made me and loves me. He knows that fear loves to torment. That’s why He has lovingly suggested/commanded to read His word, memorize it, pray, and learn hymns and spiritual songs. Many times I am singing to discipline myself with the very words I have to repeat again and again from the hymns. But that’s ok! That’s what they’re for! To encourage us. To lift us. To console and comfort us. To befriend us! God is in every word.
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