Self Care Challenge Day 19: Meditation

Well, Lord, tonight’s challenge is meditation. My first thought is that it sounds a lot like quiet time with you. Yet you and I know that our quiet time often struggles to be quiet or have my complete attention. Even as we spend our time, I am either reading the devotion you give me, the scripture that goes with it, or already thinking on what you give me to write in my journal on what we are focusing on. I try to take the time to think on what you wrote, but I am either in a restaurant, a parking lot, or somewhere that other people are passing by or looking from a distance, so my mind is ALWAYS thinking or worrying about something. It is extremely hard to stay still for just a sure 10 minutes, especially without feeling guilty about it. While I take what you give me through the day, I also take that feeling guilty too.

I looked through the listed sites (well they were apps, but I’m not downloading something without knowing what it is). I tried the only free sample I came across on Smiling Mind. I wasn’t able to do it uninterrupted (family), but it didn’t seem too bad. It actually made me smile and even laugh a couple of times. Is it suppose to do that? If not, I guess my focus just isn’t cooperating. The voice said if my mind got to straying or thinking that is was normal. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad sometime? What do you think? Could this help our quiet time get back to where it used to be, hopefully my peace of mind too? Do we need a 3rd party to help my mind, like these medicines, doctors, and therapists? I will pray about it and let you lead.

Self Care Challenge Day 18: Music

Thank you, Jesus,  ❤ for such a challenge as this! 😉 Such a blessing! New favorites! Old favorites in new voices! Sorry it took so long to get this up, Lovely A ❤ ! But I was having such fun… getting lost in the deep and beautiful… raising my hands to the heavens… and wanting to leap and shout for joy!! My favorite newest favorite is actually by a couple of WordPress friends.. Red Letters! ❤
Disclaimer: I could not narrow it down to 5!!!

When I just want to lay back and listen to the beauty of the words and music!
1. Good, Good Father – Chris Tomlin ❤ ❤ ❤
2. Know You – Red Letters ❤
3. Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus – YouTube doesn’t say singer but Johnny Carrasquillo ❤
4. What a Wonderful Name – Hillsong ❤
5. O Come to the Altar – Elevation Worship
6. How Deep The Father’s Love For Us – Selah
7. All this Time – Britt Nicole
8. How Great Is Our God – Chris Tomlin ❤ ❤

My pickups (Dangerous in my system, but it makes me feel like saying to life, BRING IT ON!)
Let’s dance the day in and our worries away!! 🙂
1. Good Morning – Mandisa
2. Stronger – Mandisa
3. Beautiful Day – Jamie Grace ❤
4. Hold Me – Jamie Grace ❤
5. Do Everything – Steven Curtis Chapman

I had video links but they were extremely messed up regardless of how many times I fixed it. Maybe it’s a WordPress thing I just don’t understand yet.

30 Posts Challenge: #26, My Fear of God

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding.” – Proverbs 9:10 KJV. God tells us the wisest thing we can do is fear Him, and He promises that knowledge of the Holy One will be understanding. It is not a tyrannical fear of someone who wants our first born thrown into a fire. It is a reverent fear in recognition of His omnipotent sovereignty.

I love God with all my heart, mind, soul, and body. I humbly fear Him as He rightly deserves. Having said that, I must be honest that I struggle with unhealthy and unfair fear of Him at times. Sometimes I believe it comes from our church preaching fire and brimstone, making me afraid that Satan was waiting to push me in the lake of fire. On top of this my mom would tell us Satan or God was coming in the night because of whatever we did to make her mad. But Jude 1:22-23 tell us “And of some have compassion, making a difference: and others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh.” God deemed I needed both.

There is also the fear of losing someone or something I love. I lost my first hero, my granddad, when I was 8. He saved my life when I fell out of a car, but I could not save his. Shortly after his death, my siblings and I were put into foster care. I tried to figure out what I did wrong to my granddad, my dad, my mom, and God to make them mad. It seemed ever time I got close to someone they either died, moved, or were simply gone. I used to think God got mad if I loved someone more than Him.

I believe God used those times to teach me to love Him above all others because He gave me those who loved me and that I loved. Secondly, He taught me to cherish time with anyone, whether a friend, family, or lover, or whether for an hour or years, by thanking Him for those persons. As I became thankful, it seemed I had a season of gain in love, friendships, and a growing family. Our dysfunctional family became a healthy family.

But then losses started coming… often… and personal. The more people you know and love, the more people you have to lose. It’s just the cost of living… at least that what depression tells me. My God tells me it is His blessing to have loved… and what feels like loss… is gain. I’m the one losing. My loved one has gained new life… eternal life. I would never drag them back into this wretched and evil life, just to worry about them experiencing death again because “I” suffer.

The losses pour the poison of depression into my wounds. The grief chokes at my hope. But I know someone who knows my loss. He lost His Son to save my life, and the lives of family & friends. He watched His Son die a cruel death, and be mocked as He suffered. Yes, He resurrected His Son. But His Son suffered His own loss of friends & family.

We often forget about God suffering, watching His Son die. We don’t count it the same for a God we do not know, to suffer cruelty and heartache, to watch His only Son die! We forget Jesus wept as His friend Lazarus lay in the grave. Yes, Jesus did resurrect Lazarus. But there is one other death that gets overlooked that was cruel and heartless.

When I have cried to Jesus about my Lazarus not coming back (my baby brother Charlie who was killed at 37), He reminds me of His beloved Cousin John the Baptist who was beheaded because of a jealous woman, a prideful and lustful man, and a temptress of a daughter. John’s head was served on a platter as a party favor in a room of laughing people. He was NOT resurrected. Matthew 11:11 and Luke 7:8 both say, “Among them that are born of women there hath not risen a greater than John the Baptist.” So my Jesus knows exactly how I feel to have lost beloved family in a cruel way, where someone stood and laughed as he laid dead, the same someone who played a role in his death. But I know Jesus will look after my brother as His Father looked after John till He got home!

I know this doesn’t really address the fear in the way I can struggle with it. But there are a few things that scripture tells me that I cling to when my depression or anxiety, and sometimes both try to choke the life and hope out of me.
1. Satan is the Father of Confusion. “For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.” – 1 Corinthians 4:13 KJV
2. Jesus knew what anxiety felt like when HE took on human flesh to experience what we experience. “And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling down to the ground.” – Luke 22:44 KJV
3. My lack of understanding everything is not God failing to keep His promise. He allows me to understand Holy things about Him… which includes His awareness of my tendency to fear. All over His word He says Fear not, Be not afraid.
4. Lastly, trusting in the love and grace of my Savior Jesus Christ, the one who has felt and understands anxiety, loss, grief, fear… brings me a whole new promise from God. “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:7 KJV. When I fear because I don’t understand everything about my God and His will, the love of Christ will give me peace beyond all understanding. I believe this because I’m blessed to experience it every day of my life. It’s hard to explain, but even in “feeling” fear or hopelessness, I do still have His peace!


Things That Need to Be Said

Friends, as you know I have been doing the 30 Posts Challenge and am almost to 30. And you also know I have been saying let me know if you want me to post on something. It is has been interesting to see what others want to know, and just interesting to see what I actually know… lol.

A friend has asked me to talk on my fear of God, fear of losing people/things, and not being perfect. Truth be told, I avoid things like this and any thing I know will not come out positive and cheerful because I struggle with depression. I sometimes fear it looks bad on God. I want to be encouraging and uplifting.

Today was an extremely thought provoking day. To share it with you is not all roses, but sometimes encouragement comes from being honest with one another. There are things that need to be said, for me anyway. I hope to do that with you here in a little bit.

I will be praying for God’s wisdom and guidance. If you will pray with me… any time, I would appreciate and ask God to bless each one who prays with me.

P.S. Below is what were the Things That Need to Be Said.
My Fear of God
Thanks for keeping me accountable, and for the prayers.

Self Care Challenge Day 17: De-Cluttering

Oh my goodness. The Lord knows I need this one and is using this challenge yet again to “get’r done”, Lord willing. Me and all of my belongings live in one little corner of the house, and are made to feel guilty for being that much of a space.

You wouldn’t know it from just this clutter that I’m obsessed with being clean and in order, mostly for my sanity. I prefer to see EVERY spot in the room, to know it is free of whatever I cannot see. What started this I do not know, I could guess a couple of things.

My friends and family often made fun of me, saying I must have OCD. I don’t believe it’s that bad, but don’t appreciate the jokes as I have friends who do. I grew up with our house always so filthy, with bugs, sometimes fighting rats in the house.

In foster care, we cleaned every day…. our room and household chores, regardless of age. No activities allowed until all cleaning done. Even on Saturday, which had the heavier chores. There were strict rules, and strict punishment.

When I was 13, one of my teacher’s paid me to clean her house and was strict. Her thing was… If you are going to do something, do it right, and do it right the first time.

I worked for top notch hotels on their VIP, Conference, and Entertainment floors.

When I had my 1st home of my own, I was amazed at how clean it stayed. ALL 4 of us kids kept our homes spotless.

My son liked things so clean when he was a baby, at the least bit sticky he would drop his ice-cream and wail while holding out his hands to be cleaned. Everyone would tease, “Yep. He’s just like his momma.”

There is something freeing about my life being clean and clutter free that makes even my mind so much healthier. De-cluttering is like getting rid of all of the negativity in my life. It’s like knowing the difference between what is important to keep and what needs to be thrown out. De-cluttering equals sanity. God is generous when He allows clean.

30 Posts Challenge: #25, I’m a Very Private Person

Hey Guys and Gals, we are to number 25. I have been saving that one to let you know that I am a very private person and after the 30 Posts Challenge I will be changing my FB settings to private in all ways possible, with an exception to my WordPress for now. I did not tell my friend who challenged me that I was going to open myself up to the world. It would just be during the posts, provided I had no problems. To draw no attention to myself or other friends who are very private also, I told no one.

I make all of my FB settings for just Friends. Not even friends of friends. I am not listed in any directory. Someone must know my e-mail address, or see my name in anything FB requires to be public. They are only then able to send an inbox message. If I recognize a threat or something just not to be a good idea, I block them.

So… this is just to let you know if you want to keep in touch on FB, you need to request to add me while you can see me… especially if you want to continue to see my poetry… you will need to have me add you to the Gail’sPoetry group.

For now you can still see the WordPress blogs without needing a password. I will be leaving those settings public… as long as there is not a problem. You might want to look into getting a password though, as I am praying about adding a new page or 2.

Self Care Challenge Day 16: Comfort Box

Lord, I make a comfort box tonight. You are the 1st thing in. Life without you is absolutely miserable. Then your word… whether I’m reading it, or just laying my weary head on it as I talk to you… or laying with the pages open to feel like I’m laying in your arms, as my tears fall on your pages… your word is the most physical thing of you to me.

Currently I would add my devotional book, but normally I use the reading plan you allowed me to learn from Skip Heitig’s Book, How to Read the Bible and Enjoy It.

Puzzle books. One variety and another with either all Sudokus or all Word Games.

A journal for noting thoughts and whispers from you, and a composition book for writing poetry. I guess I should throw in the pens to write with too… lol.

My coloring journal you gave me, along with the color pencils and highlighters.

My Ellipsis Android Tablet to listen to Good, Good Father and more of your music. I guess I should put the charger and cord in too… lol.

A nice perfume or cologne… I love Charlie and Obsession. If it’s Charlie, I love to put some on my wrists (back and front), and arms. If Obsession, I love to put it on the shoulder and arms, near the wrists too, but all on a long sleeved shirt to curl up with.

Well, I guess I have my comfort box. As long as you are in it, that is all the comfort I need. If I am forgetting something, or you would like me to include something, just whisper. I want all that you have for me and want for me.


56 Answers to Lovely A’s List

This will be my way of doing Lovely A’s 56 Lists To Make When You Are Feeling Down. It makes a great list to inspire many things… subject to writings, things to think on, things to distract ourselves with, a way to pass the time, fun games (like when riding on long trips) or trivia for party dinners, and so much more.

Favorite memories: Having my son, brother’s wedding, college days, church events
Your best qualities: God’s love, encouraging, honesty, loyalty, committed
Best days you’ve lived: under His grace and salvation
Compliments you’ve received: a blessing, encouraging, strong, trustworthy, beautiful soul, kind, understanding, patient
What you like the most about yourself: love for God, faithful, attentive, patient
Your most precious possessions: Bible, tablet & smart phone (online bible), journals
Bucket list of things to do: Love & obey God, fly, beach, another country, ferry
Things that make you happy: God, family, friends, writing, church, church family
Positive adjectives to describe yourself: encouraging, patient, strong, honest
Your values: I believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God, crucified, resurrected, sent us the Holy Spirit, and is coming back for us to take us to live with Him. I believe in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit being a triune Godhead called the Trinity.
Favorite ways to relax: writing, praying, singing, TV, movies, social media, games
Fun things to do at home: writing, singing, TV, movies, games

People you love: God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, my son, family, friends, church family
People loving you: God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, my son, family, friends, church family
How you met your favorite people: Molly, giving birth, being born, life, church
People you would like to meet: God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, Family, Lovely A, Moschie, Helga
What you like to do with your friends: Laugh, travel, lunch, church, fly, beach
What you like to do with your family: Travel, beach, church, fly, laugh
People you would like to reconnect with: Lost loved ones, church family, friends
Things you would like to do with your friends & family: church, travel, fly, devos
People who inspire you: God, my son, Lovely A, Christ-confident souls, photographers
Every friend you ever made: A list of EVERY friend I’ve made is too long for WordPress.
People who have positively influenced you: God, Molly, Mr. Farlough, Mrs. Chamberlain, Brett, Lovely A, Mary Chapman, Diane, Freddie, Emile, Michelle
Gift ideas for your favorite people: Bible, blankets, books, music, my poetry, ice-cream
Everything you love about your partner: Jesus is the Love of my life. I love Him because He first loved me! That means something to me!
People you want to send a thank you note to: Mr. Farlough, Brett, Blake, Katie, Ali, Andrew, Rebecca, Lovely A, and so many more!
Date night ideas: church, church events, dining, picnics, Blue Ridge Parkway, walking

Things that you are grateful for: God, family, friends, life, love, kindness, forgiveness
Things you are proud of: God, my son, my college degrees
The scariest things you’ve done: lived, loved, trusted, opened my FB and WP to public
Dreams that became reality: my son, finishing school, bible college
Biggest accomplishments: accepting Christ as my Savior, my son, published writings
Ways to celebrate your wins: praising God, with family & friends, screaming, ice cream
All the things you are good at: writing, encouraging others

Life goals: Love and obey God
Countries you would like to visit: Australia, New Zealand, United Kingdom
Things you would like to do: write for a living, travel, fly
Stories you would like to write about: God’s love, Ava (writing now), I Miss Us
Adventures you would like to live: traveling to Australia, traveling our country
Dreams for the future: keeping God 1st, writing for a living
Where you would like to live: a room or small place joining a Christian friend’s home
What you will be doing in the next few years: I have no idea. Living is a good start.
Things you would like to get: back to good health, a lot of unspoken prayers
Skills you would like to learn: sewing, quilting, my tablet, WordPress layout
Wish list: Whatever God hopes of me and for me.

Favorite songs: Good Good Father, Jesus the Love of My Life, Amazing Grace, A Wonderful Savior, Did I Mention, Oh Lord What Would I DO Without Your Son, How Can I Fear With Jesus, Day by Day, I’ll Stick With the Old Stuff, My Victory, Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus, All This Time, Be Thou My Vision
Funniest jokes: clean ones!
Favorite movies: Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice, Fireproof, Courageous, Grace Card, Facing the Giants, FlyWheel, Little Women, Little Dorrit, Letters to God, Hidden Places, Though None Go With Me, Chronicles of Narnia
Favorite TV shows: Preaching, Downton Abbey, As Time Goes By, Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, Law & Order, Law & Order SVU, Doctor Who, Doc Martin
Favorite books: The Holy Bible, Bible study books, Pilgrim’s Progress, devotionals
Favorite places: home, church, Blue Ridge Parkway
Favorite food: Spasagna, Spaghetti, Lasagna, Pizza, Ice-Cream, Tacos
Favorite restaurants: Cheddar’s, Olive Garden, Applebee’s, Chick-fil-A
Favorite parks in town: Sandhill Sports Park, Lake Louise, Lake Julian
Favorite quotes: God loves you! Jesus Christ died for you. What more do you want Him to do, die again?
Favorite podcasts: PoddyBreak with Tim Hawkins

Self Care Challenge Day 15: Bucket List

A bucket list… Lord, I’ve heard this a lot. I thought it was a list of things someone was to do before they died, and they were knocking them out one by one because they had limited time. Well I guess we’re all living on borrowed time… directed by you.
In taking the time to pray and think, This is my bucket list. If anyone says a bucket list and a wish list are 2 different things then take it up with God on which wishes He will be granting. 😉

Loving the Lord with my heart, soul, mind, and body are always at the top. Doing His will. Making Him happy. Making a good testimony for Him. Loving others. Using my Spiritual gifts He gives. Trusting Him with everything.
As for what He doesn’t mind us hoping for: I desire to fly. I never have for fear of flying. So flying related things…. airplane, helicopter, passport, skydiving, hang gliding, hot air balloon, even zip lining. Now I know what you’re thinking (if you know me)… what about your health… your nerves? Well I’ve seen people taking rides with professionals who knew how to prepare patients, equip them, and take them along as they do the jump. Granted they were famous or had money, but it’s possible. So… baby steps…
1. Get my driver’s license upgraded to serve as a passport ($13).
2. See if local airport still gives plane tours to see what inside looks like.
3. Ask if local plane or helicopter rides are available, if not where and how much.
I would like to 1. Fly 2.Get away 3. See the beach. 4. Go to another country 5. Ride a ferry

SO while I wait for those golden opportunities, my bucket list for now is to keep doing the baby steps:
Physical Therapy. Drinking plenty of Water. Get plenty of rest. Walk when able.
Keep listening to my doctors. Don’t forget breakfast.
Remember to thank God I can walk… period.



Self Care Challenge Day 14: Treat Day Self Care Challenge, Day 14 Treat Day
Today, Lord, was Treat Day, and it was! Thanks for the delightful surprise with time at the Blue Ridge Parkway Visitor Center! More on that in a second, but 1st the Challenge.

Looking over the Challenge thus far… I still struggle with getting sleep, water, and eating, but eventually do. I love to write. Blogging is writing… fun… and encourages others… all while sharing your whispers. Fear tries to invade, but you make all things better with your presence. Reading helps remind us you are always there.

My favorite take away so far, Lord, is absolutely seeing you in this, especially through my Lovely friend. 😉 It helps to balance life with things that make me happy… reading, sweet tea, sweet friendships, and visits to one of my favorite spots on the Parkway. Self Care Challenge, Day 14 Treat Day.jpg

I love watching that little movie. Sometimes it just kills time, and often making new friends from all over the country, and even the world! Today I met a couple from Wisconsin (US)… Herb and Donna who were patient while I figured out how to use my tablet. I offered Herb to retake the pic, but they just both laughed. They were so sweet. Self Care Challenge, Day 14 Treat Day

It was such a beautiful and bright day! If you notice the rays in the cloud and sky, that was the way you arranged the view for each of us. I loved it! Self Care Challenge, Day 14 Treat Day

Lastly, a special treat indeed, I picked my son up from work. He was trying to teach me about my tablet. We took a selfie! And he smiled! I love that smile and those eyes! Always have! Thank you for allowing them to look up  to me and say, “I love you, Mom.” It gives me a slight glance into how you feel to see me smile. 🙂 Self Care Challenge, Day 14 Treat Day.jpg

30 Posts Challenge: #24, A Friend Loveth at All Times

Alright, I know a lot of you read that title and think… yeah right. I know because my own cynical mind says the same thing whenever I see things like that… or when I struggle with “Do I really want to use that title? No one loves at ALL times.” If that is what the Lord gives, that is what I write. It is from scripture: “A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” – Proverbs 17:17 KJV.  We are the ones who often forget what it means to love and have a friend.

We think because we don’t “feel” loving, or are not “being” as friendly as we could be that we are not friends. Just because we can feel angry, disappointed, offended, or lots of emotions it does not mean we do not still love someone. We are capable of multiple emotions at one time.

How we are with our children is a perfect example. We may have to correct, discipline, and even be held accountable to others for the behavior of our children. These times can frustrate us, confuse us, and discourage us, but it does not mean we don’t love them.

Friendship sometimes blesses us with a soul who knows what we are going through, because they are or have too, and share so many things in common, making life so delightful. Sometimes friendships are opposites on the same side from time to time, and are better balanced from the differences. God gives all kinds of friends. Including the best friendship you could ever hope for.

Jesus is the strongest, truest, most faithful friend one has. Even if you do not know it right now, care about it or not, or even want nothing to do with Him… He loves you! That is what a friend does… loveth at all times. We understand better when we see touching stories of someone who tries to be a friend to someone who is so horrible to them, and somehow in the end wins them over. It’s one of the most common movie themes.

Christ saw we were miserable, and our death was only going to make it worse. Satan tries to tell us death is the answer to our problems, but what a horrible and tragic lie. Christ came to take our place in that misery. When He returned to the Father, He knew we would receive the Holy Spirit to comfort us now, along our journey. He also ensured eternal peace with our Father in heaven. He left us an example.

“This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.” – John 15:12-14 KJV

Self Care Challenge Day 13: Friendships

This is a nice challenge. Don’t we all have someone we need to catch up with? Owe a ring to? Owe an apology to? Need to forgive? Or simply shower with the surprise of “Hello, Friend”? It’s amazing how an assignment or friendly challenge can encourage us to accomplish something we want to do… like calling a friend. Psalm 8:24 says “A man that hath friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”

I fell asleep last night as I was working toward posting for challenge 13 of the 21 Day Self Care Challenge, but praise the Lord I got that call in to a dear friend in Florida. She is so loving with such a heart. So often I miss her call, and yet she is so forgiving to keep trying to call, or loves me just the same each time I get a chance to call her back. Even if I have to leave a voice mail message, she is sure to call back. I love hearing the messages she leaves on voice mail… especially the ones just letting a song play through.

Last night I caught her as she and her mom were in a hotel in Atlanta, GA because of an issue the airline had that left them waiting in the plane for a good bit. She and her mom were grateful to be in the hotel at this point. It was a brief call, but nice to hear her voice, passing a hello to her mom, and ask how she is… which was in need of special prayer.

I was also blessed this weekend to spend time with a friend. It was noisy with a little rowdiness, but we barely noticed, and eventually it was just us. It was a pep talk to my soul as this friend knows my tendency to be weary. How loving they were to remind me of my journey through the years, and to see my weakness as a sacred treasure… drawing me nigh to God, which in turn gives a spirit to encourage others. God is the greatest to bless me with such loving spirits.

Lastly, there is the challenge from a new  friend the Lord has given from a land far away. Another encouraging soul… to many. I love her picture of a sunset from her office view. Pictures allow God to show His beauty in places we would otherwise never see. This challenge reminds me I’ve been trying to add friendship to the 30 Posts Challenge. Guess God is saying this is a good time as any.

Self Care Challenge Day 12: Health Check Up

Health Check up…. well, Lord. Where do we go with this one? Especially since at the moment I am so spent and so weary?  I really don’t want to talk about my health or all of my doctors, appointments, or anything. I guess we could just sum it up that I am very aware of my health, as are all of my doctors, and my next appointment is just a few days away. The positives are I don’t have near as many appts as I did back in the fall, I’m at least walking, and able to stand on my feet. Praise your Holy name! ❤
Thanks for my McTea today! And I did try a tea I have not tried before… green tea and chamomile mixed… as You so thoughtfully surprised me with. You helped me get so much further in reading. How marvelous are Your ways for me. You have been in this challenge all along. Thanks for the journey… and for being with faithfully all the way! I love you and hope the world always knows it! gaillovesgod ❤

Out of the Depths

I am inviting all prayer warriors to pray with me for church family… baby William and his family.

From the depths

I never thought I’d be a NICU mom. The one who sits in quiet, loving agony beside the bed of a fragile little baby, watching the numbers fluctuate on the monitors. But I’ve been living through that experience for over a month now. When William was born, five and a half weeks early, he came careening into the world so fast that the only medical personnel at his birth were my nurse and the doctor. The neonatal team arrived shortly after he made his entrance, and I held him for a minute or two before they whisked him away to the NICU to hook him up to monitors and oxygen and i.v. fluids. Thus began the most painful, agonizing journey we have ever taken.

One of the hardest parts of William’s time in the NICU has been sitting by his bed and watching him struggle to breathe. He will be…

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30 Posts Challenge: #23, Bearing One Another’s Burdens (as a Prayer Warrior)

I never thought I’d be a NICU mom. The one who sits in quiet, loving agony beside the bed of a fragile little baby, watching the numbers fluctuate on the monitors. But I’ve been living through that experience for over a month now. When William was born, five and a half weeks early, he came […]

via Out of the Depths — From the depths